This would be funny if it weren't actually true...

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MurPHy
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This would be funny if it weren't actually true...

Post by MurPHy »

I found this on www.orsm.net:
www.orsm.net wrote:Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; Illegal aliens got driver's licenses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, His wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and I. M. A. Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing.


Kind of sad, huh?
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jetbaby
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Post by jetbaby »

This would be funny if it weren't actually true...
pretty much sums it all up.
off topic? OMG YOU'VE BEEN CENSORED... yet you're still posting. MYSTARY!!!!

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Strap
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Post by Strap »

I'm guessing that's a little dated. The woman spilling the hot coffee in her lap was a long time ago.
It should be about the people who didn't know they would get fat by eating...

That is pretty sad overall, common sense kicks ass and everyone is such a moron these days.
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Re: This would be funny if it weren't actually true...

Post by Slave_Master »

MurPHy wrote:Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
If I had a cup of coffee so hot that it melted through the styrofoam and fused my labia together, I'd fucking sue McDonald's too.

I'm inclined to agree with Strap's assessment that the recent "OMG BIG MACS MAKE ME FAT?!" tripe would be a better example.
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Post by Anthony »

Perhaps I misunderstood, but I thought she spilled on herself?
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Post by Grey Fil »

Actually I think that Common Sense is alive and well. It just lives in a modern world. If you can use other peo...

Just forget it.
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Re: This would be funny if it weren't actually true...

Post by Kashluk »

Slave_Master wrote:If I had a cup of coffee so hot that it melted through the styrofoam and fused my labia together, I'd fucking sue McDonald's too.
The coffee in the cup was a bit less than 175 Fahrenheits warm (that's how McDonalds serves it). The National Coffee Associaton recommends temperatures of 195 - 205 Fahrenheit. So the coffee was actually *colder* than coffee should normally be served, still she got the compensations for "it being too hot". But fortunately, she didn't get like 100 million bucks, she got about 27 000, of about half covered the medical expenses.
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Megatron
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Post by Megatron »

perhaps they should serve boiling coffee in something less flimsy than a styrofoam cup with a plastic lid?
:chew:
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Post by Forty-six & Two »

Megatron wrote:perhaps they should serve boiling coffee in something less flimsy than a styrofoam cup with a plastic lid?
Like what then? In a rubber clad stainless steel mug?

Its fast food for gods sake. Its wrapped in shit, thats just about as unhealthy for you, as the food itself. LoL.
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Post by Kashluk »

Stella Liebeck was sitting in her car, when she spilled the coffee on her lap. The car was stopped and no other car bumped it or anything, but she just *decided to hold a full cup of really hot coffee between her knees*. You can imagine the rest...
Stella Awards wrote:The plaintiffs were apparently able to document 700 cases of burns from McDonald's coffee over 10 years, or 70 burns per year. But that doesn't take into account how many cups are sold without incident. A McDonald's consultant pointed out the 700 cases in 10 years represents just 1 injury per 24 million cups sold! For every injury, no matter how severe, 23,999,999 people managed to drink their coffee without any injury whatever. Isn't that proof that the coffee is not "unreasonably dangerous"?
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Post by Megatron »

Forty-six & Two wrote:
Like what then? In a rubber clad stainless steel mug?
Perhaps they could just have it served in mugs that you can't take away? Mabye have it so the cup is built so when you hold it it doesn't displace the coffee outside the cup, something rigid?
Its fast food for gods sake. Its wrapped in shit, thats just about as unhealthy for you, as the food itself. LoL.
What.

It was a stupid thing to do but perhaps McDonalds should stop making shitty food with shitty containers so they don't get sued with obesity and melted genitals?
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Post by SDMVersion3 »

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses;
Should be the other way around.
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Post by Kashluk »

Megatron wrote:It was a stupid thing to do but perhaps McDonalds should stop making shitty food with shitty containers so they don't get sued with obesity and melted genitals?
Didn't you read my previous post? 23,999,999 people manage to drink coffee from those "shitty containers" each year with no injuries at all when *one* person spills it all over him-/herself.
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Post by Megatron »

And perhaps 1 people could be saved if coffee was banned!

Why not just drink it cold? Having it at boiling temperatures seems a bit like over-kill when that one person could be saved if they'd have had cold coffee. What if some kid decided to try and drink some or mabye throw it at somebody! Perhaps those 24 million people can happily drink there boiling hot coffee while the kids eyes melt down his face.
:chew:
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Post by atoga »

Kashluk wrote:she got about 27 000
Wrong. She was awarded something like $2.1 million.

And she's an idiot. I don't like McDonald's in the least, but that's just shoddy and ignorant.
suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. suddenly somebody will say like 'plate' or 'shrimp' or 'plate of shrimp', out of the blue, no explanation.
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Post by Kashluk »

Those 24 million *want* their coffee hot, that's why.

And no, *you're* wrong. She was awarded over 2 million at first, but that was overruled by the judge immediately and the total amount was reduced for about 3 times IIRC. In the end she got something like 27 000. Not sure if that's the right amount, but sure as hell it wasn't millions.
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Post by Megatron »

Kashluk wrote:Those 24 million *want* their coffee hot, that's why.
So what? We should pander to the mass-market now? The lowest common denominator? I think people's desires are less important than the labia of someone else mate.
And no, *you're* wrong. She was awarded over 2 million at first, but that was overruled by the judge immediately and the total amount was reduced for about 3 times IIRC. In the end she got something like 27 000. Not sure if that's the right amount, but sure as hell it wasn't millions.
It sure as hell should have been. Because of a nice, refreshing cup of boiling hot DEATH this woman was scarred for life! McDonalds should be sued for every penny they have, there cheap fast food is ruining the lives of billions!
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Post by Kashluk »

.... uh, did you hit your head with, like, a sledgehammer or a truck by any chance? :)
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Post by POOPERSCOOPER »

Megatrons right, we should be serving cold coffee so we dont hurt anyone. DONT U CARE ABOUT ANYONE KASHLUK?
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Post by PaladinHeart »

Don't do coffee.

Just say no.

:-P

Here is your brain.. and here is your brain on coffee (envision healthy brain and melted brain).

Of course, your brain would be fine as long as you don't pour the coffee on your head.

Oh! Here's a thought.. don't drink coffee at mcdonalds? I'd think a majority of the more normal people drink it at home, from a metal or ceramic cup that is more than capable of containing boiling hot coffee that can fuse someone's labia together.
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