Stapler

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ApTyp
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Post by ApTyp »

The whole point of having public/office proprty is so that you wouldn't have to steal to use it. :?
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Redeye
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Post by Redeye »

ApTyp wrote:The whole point of having public/office proprty is so that you wouldn't have to steal to use it. :?
The whole point of Public Office is so that you can use it to steal.
ApTyp
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Post by ApTyp »

Maybe to make your job more convenient. But apart from pawning the stapler and using the money to buy drugs, I really can't come up with a better job for a stapler theft.
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Redeye
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Post by Redeye »

I was making a play on words.


Stealing shit because you can leads to a hoard-organization problem.
How many tiny packets of pepper, salt, mustard, ketchup, etc.
have I taken as extra from various places? Jam/Jelly? Peanut butter?
Paper napkins? Plastic Utensils? Sugar? Paper sheets for hand drying?
Toilet paper - bring your own cardboard cylinder and roll the public
supply onto your own core -one sheet at a time with those niggardly
"ratcheting" dispensers.
Hand soap?
I end up throwing it away due to lack of space/forgetting I have it
until it rots.
But to do it all over again I would have done more, and I would have
developed a system for it and used it.
Also half&half, syrup, soy sauce.
Plus carry your own receptacles to collect things from pumps- using
the provided minicups as intermediate containers if necessary to
facilitate stealth parasitism.
Oh, and butter pats.
Many other "free" things.
Take extra shopping bags if available.
Keep old bags, organise by size and shape. A plastic bag dispenser
can be sewn as a cloth tube with elastic sphincters at both ends.
Hang on a hook.
Convenient. And keep metal(steel), plastics, aluminium, glass,
paper, and cardboard until it stacks up then dump it in an
abandoned lot in separate zones.
It might get "stolen"/cleaned up, but you can theoretically
accumulate your own landfill/junkyard,
Recycle/sell for scrap annually for drug money.
What wonders of economy can one obtain via exploitation of a
wasteful and trusting society.
And much, much more...

For that matter, you can dress up as a homeless person and get free
meals at shelters and soup antique dildo collections. Just remember to act the part-
coming in drunk helps, but knowing the sad stories helps too.
"Mom always fed that damn dog, but not me..."

Of course this all takes time and being a responsible worker and
member of society means this is all just extra time that is unfeasible
given that the economies of scale available to such a person makes
such scavenging and parasitism relatively unprofitable.

But it is fun to think about.

OT to be sure, but I was on a roll.
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Mismatch
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Post by Mismatch »

Redeye wrote:when I'm not busy wanking on my mothers bedspread I post long and useless chit on the intarweb.
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S4ur0n27
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

ApTyp wrote:The whole point of having public/office proprty is so that you wouldn't have to steal to use it. :?
That bugs me, indeed. If I want a stapler or a pen I'll just go to the furnitures office and ask for them, and they'll hand em out without even asking. So why did they chain THIS particular stapler? It has yet to be discovered.

I guess I'll have to steal it to know D:
Kashluk

Post by Kashluk »

Maybe stealing it will cause the end of the world as we know it? The forbidden fruit of our time? D:
You faggit, don't you dare robbing it!
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VasikkA
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Post by VasikkA »

Jesus did some stapling during his lifetime. Maybe it's the lost ark. Have you tried refilling it?

This is one hard-core stapler though.
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S4ur0n27
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

Hm, I've yet to discover how to open it. It's not in my office, but in the room where all the files are stored, by the fax. Thus I don't have much time alone with it, and since it's chained I can't move it.

It looks a bit like this, but slicker and bigger.

The funny thing is it got there without anyone noticing, and nobody knows who brought it there. It just appeared out of nowhere.
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Fa11lloutfan_15
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Post by Fa11lloutfan_15 »

THIS DISCUSSION IS SO INTRIGUING
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Redeye
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Post by Redeye »

Mismatch wrote:
Redeye wrote:when I'm not busy wanking on my mothers bedspread I post long and useless chit on the intarweb.
This gave a minute long Ed McMann laugh.
Ho ho ho ho hoho hohoho ho ho ...


Reminds me of that time back in 'nam.
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VasikkA
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Post by VasikkA »

S4ur0n27 wrote:The funny thing is it got there without anyone noticing, and nobody knows who brought it there. It just appeared out of nowhere.
It's a CIA device that monitors the workers internet habits. You're running a huge risk exposing us.
Kashluk

Post by Kashluk »

Spy Games D;
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Redeye
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Post by Redeye »

Perhaps the mystery can be enhanced by enhancing it.

Bring Mr. Stapler a friend.
You must find a way to install a second stapler, also with a chain.
Then use a marker to write "Mr. Stapler" and "Mrs. Stapler".
Or add a staple remover on a chain.
Or that can be their baby.
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S4ur0n27
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

There's already another stapler, a cheap Apsco17 one, and a staple remover. Except they're not chained.
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Mismatch
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Post by Mismatch »

honestly susan.
with a unedited mouth bukkake goggles girl is much better. Because its real D:
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atoga
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Post by atoga »

What mismatch said...
suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. suddenly somebody will say like 'plate' or 'shrimp' or 'plate of shrimp', out of the blue, no explanation.
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vx trauma
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Post by vx trauma »

STAPLERS WITH BUGS INSTALLED DON'T WORK IF HARM CAN BE DONE TO THE USER. TRY STAPLING YOUR HAND OR WEEWEE IF YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH. IT MIGHT BE WORTH THE EFFORT.
Please Kill Yourself So I Can Rock
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S4ur0n27
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

I wanted to add some punch to the christmas avatar :(
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Nicolai
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Post by Nicolai »

bring back the old mouth, you homo D:
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