"Star Trek" is exactly as shitty as Fallout 3

MR Snake · Post by **MR Snake** » Tue May 12, 2009 8:31 pm

popscythe wrote:
Dogmeatlives wrote:so really just relax or you'll have a fucking heart attack by the time star trek 3 rolls around.
I highly doubt that, it's quite a bit less work to type than it is to scream about something.

Let me ask you this, where did you really set the bar for this new Trek movie? Were you hoping it would be Harold and Kumar get giant allergy hands and fight with chrome katanas? Or are you simply complacent with the shit product that was produced because you really don't give a fuck past "Hey, it's Star Trek, I feel vaguely benevolent about the show because it's been a constant popular culture tradition for the entirety of myself and most of my peer's lives?"

I'm not like mortally offended that someone changed a few things up, I guess now that the entirety of that "will it blend: gi joes and penises" episode has kinda sunken in I realize that we couldn't possibly hope for better. Slapstick fucking water tubes you get teleported into and giant squishgar squigelf allergy hands. Utter lack of any kind of Gene R. style message past "RADICAL MAN, CHEATING WORKS AS LONG AS YOU'RE A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO GET HOME BEFORE THEY FOUND OUT YOU HAD A DAY OFF THAT LATER WAS NAMED AFTER YOU"

Was it a terrible movie? Yes. All Hollywood movies are motherfucking terrible. Was it exceptionally terrible for a sci-fi action adventure movie? Well, it certainly wasn't great, summer movie for tweens quality at best. But most importantly was it dumbed the fuck down about 80% and did it add "features" like F.A.T.S. (Fucking Asinine Transport Slapstick) that get a laugh out of the bottom of the Madden 09 barrel? Definitely.

I'll fight and die for your freedom to come into these great united internets and say you love the new Star Trek, but that doesn't stop me from thinking that you're a culture-less shitpanderer and that someone needs to take your money away from you that you spend on Oblivion and Star Trek and feed a fucking orphan or something. You should be the fuck ashamed.

Go see fanboys you stupid Trekkie!

SuperH · Post by **SuperH** » Tue May 12, 2009 10:35 pm

popscythe wrote:that you spend on Oblivion and Star Trek and feed a fucking orphan or something. You should be the fuck ashamed.

So did you not even see the movie?? And you're this fucking upset? Do you honestly have nothing better going on in your head than built up apoplectic rage towards fucking Star Trek?

kvnt · Post by **kvnt** » Wed May 13, 2009 12:24 am

OP was fucking brilliant.

I wasn't expecting much. Should have guessed it would be fgts fapping to it like they did for Fallout 3.

I'll still watch it, but i sure as fuck won't pay for it.

SenisterDenister · Post by **SenisterDenister** » Wed May 13, 2009 1:19 am

Who are you exactly?

popscythe · Post by **popscythe** » Wed May 13, 2009 3:59 am

Retlaw83 wrote: Fallout 3 completely failed to capture the soul of the Fallout universe, and lacked every element that made its predecessors great - Star Trek doesn't.

I disagree. I felt that Star Trek captured the things that make Star Trek... soup. One part Kirk, One part Space, one part Beam me Up.... TREK! In exactly the same way that Fallout 3 was Fallout soup. Wasteland. Brotherhood of Steel. SPECIAL. Just because someone named Bones (Fucking shitty way to "give" him that nickname by the way, another example of how they just shaved the edges off common shit hollywood jokes to fit them into the Trek hole) says lines that sound like something the real Bones might say doesn't mean that what was said was anywhere close to acceptable. There was all sorts of pseudo-fallouty shit in Fallout 3 too and it's actually MORE insulting that they slapped Trek or Fallout style things in a shit movie or game than had they just made their shit movie or game and released it.

Let me put it another way. When Fallout 3 came out I had several people tell me that "I don't think it's so bad, because I never played Oblivion." My reply was always "You don't have to play Oblivion to see that it and Fallout 3 are both festering dogshit, if you base your opinion of Oblivion on Fallout 3. If you don't think Fallout 3 is festering dogshit because you never played the original festering dogshit, you've simply got bad taste and would have probably loved Oblivion."

It's exactly the same for this Trek movie. You'd like to minimize the fact that this movie was BARELY acceptable as a standard action/adventure/scifi let alone as an inheritor to the original by saying "Well you just hate the Director. Well you just hate the way they changed the Romulans. Well you just hate the way the COMPLETE FUCKING HACK playing Spock's lips look. (That's bullshit by the way, he's clearly capable of not looking like fucking Sylar, he just can't be in a scene without immediately slipping into that "You can't stop me" fucking stupid goddamn villain sneer that is the entirety of his ability to "act") The truth here is that the movie was average if you're a fucking philistine and terrible by any standard that doesn't enjoy absolutely stupid motherfucking bullshit. I'll admit that Trek was often terrible in the past, but this wasn't even close to being terrible for the same reasons. It was independently utterly fucking shitty, exactly like Fallout 3, all on it's own.

Anything in above that is seemingly attributed to Retlaw that he didn't say is instead intended to be attributed to the gurgling mongrel that said it.

SuperH wrote: So did you not even see the movie??

Uh, I definitely saw the movie.

senisterdenister wrote:Who are you exactly?

Some cunt, obviously.

Wolfman Walt · Post by **Wolfman Walt** » Wed May 13, 2009 4:05 am

Even if you hated the movie, I still thought Urban did a really good job as McCoy. He was definetly the most dead on for the actors.

popscythe · Post by **popscythe** » Wed May 13, 2009 4:06 am

Wolfman Walt wrote:Even if you hated the movie, I still thought Urban did a really good job as McCoy. He was definetly the most dead on for the actors.

He was totally the one I hated the least. But that's writing, not acting. I could have taken or left the guy himself. Ah, it occurs to me that Bones is the only guy who didn't have a completely radical character shift like "Kirk is a criminal now because he had no father" and "Spock is a fucking supervillian who looks intently into people's eyes as he chokes them because he's half human." (Yes, he was always half human if someone didn't know before because he wasn't throwing man tantrums every two seconds before) Even Scotty got degraded into the Slapstick Scotsman, let alone Katana Harold or ... ???????????????????????????? Chekov. What the fuck was that by the way?! Sure Chekov was the "kid" of the crew, but jesus christ. I kept thinking he'd have a squirt gun fight or something.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Wed May 13, 2009 4:38 am

popscythe wrote: I disagree. I felt that Star Trek captured the things that make Star Trek... soup. One part Kirk, One part Space, one part Beam me Up.... TREK! In exactly the same way that Fallout 3 was Fallout soup. Wasteland. Brotherhood of Steel. SPECIAL.

I agree with you on Fallout 3, but still disagree with you on the new Star Trek movie. When you get down to it, it's a matter of taste - just because you're of the opposite opinion doesn't make you superior to anyone when it comes to entertainment.

Just because someone named Bones says lines that sound like something the real Bones might say doesn't mean that what was said was anywhere close to acceptable.

A character acting like his character isn't acceptable?

Let me put it another way. When Fallout 3 came out I had several people tell me that "I don't think it's so bad, because I never played Oblivion." My reply was always "You don't have to play Oblivion to see that it and Fallout 3 are both festering dogshit, if you base your opinion of Oblivion on Fallout 3. If you don't think Fallout 3 is festering dogshit because you never played the original festering dogshit, you've simply got bad taste and would have probably loved Oblivion."

If this point was somehow related to your previous point, I think there's some shit you forgot to type to glue them together.

It's exactly the same for this Trek movie. You'd like to minimize the fact that this movie was BARELY acceptable as a standard action/adventure/scifi let alone as an inheritor to the original...

I and a lot of other hardcore, old-school Star Trek fans like the new movie. I think you'd be hardpressed to find a lot of harcore, old-school fans who like Fallout 3, and this is why your comparison doesn't have legs.

...by saying "Well you just hate the Director. Well you just hate the way they changed the Romulans. Well you just hate the way the COMPLETE FUCKING HACK playing Spock's lips look.

Well, considering you're the gurgling mongrel that spouted that stuff without giving any substantial reason as to why these things are bad, I asked questions to verify if that's the way you actually felt, and if so, why.

It's all well and good to bitch and moan ceaselessly and endlessly with so many swear words that any meaning is lost, but you can't then be mad if no one gets the point you're trying to make.

SuperH wrote: So did you not even see the movie??

Uh, I definitely saw the movie.

I think what he's trying to get at is, why is everyone else some sort of subhuman deviant for spending their time on the movie when you spent your time on the movie and are apparently some kind of paragon of truth and righteousness

MadBill · Post by **MadBill** » Wed May 13, 2009 6:10 am

I can't wait to see what Hollywood remakes next. This shit is getting tight like hotpants on a morbidly obese man.

Thor Kaufman · Post by **Thor Kaufman** » Wed May 13, 2009 8:43 am

I didn't watch the movie, yet because the actors look like some soap opera kiddies, totally not kirkian or :picard: at all.
And popscythe says it sucks.

Is the movie worth a watch? Pooper, Nico, Megatron, what do you say?

Smiley · Post by **Smiley** » Wed May 13, 2009 9:01 am

Assuming the movie is not true to Star Trek, is it as watered down a movie as Fallout is a game?

Isn't it worth watching at all, in your opinion Popscythe?

popscythe · Post by **popscythe** » Wed May 13, 2009 10:45 am

IMO it's definitely worth watching. I enjoy watching the flaming wreckage. I'm the guy who stops, watches the mushroom cloud and immediately begins to think about what he can steal.

Retlaw, I'm at a loss. There's a sort of "I can't admit this thing fucking sucks" defense reaction that some people have, it's what I was talking about before re: oblivion and f3. But you seem to have surpassed that and actually like the new Trek. Well done, sir. That's fucking astounding.

Everyone else: If you want to watch a movie with space ships and... action and adventure.... Sure. Check it out.

If you want to watch a Trek movie, I suggest you kill yourself in good standing, because you're not getting another one this side of the kingdom of heaven.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Wed May 13, 2009 12:17 pm

popscythe wrote: Retlaw, I'm at a loss. There's a sort of "I can't admit this thing fucking sucks" defense reaction that some people have, it's what I was talking about before re: oblivion and f3. But you seem to have surpassed that and actually like the new Trek. Well done, sir. That's fucking astounding.

Difference of course being that Oblivion and Fallout 3 are monuments to shitty design. The new Star Trek is not.

What's fucking astounding is your inability to grasp that just because you don't like something, doesn't mean the people who do like it are imbeciles.

If you want to get upset about my defense of the movie, how about your attitude towards it which boils down to "I don't like tattooed Romulans" and "The guy who plays Spock smirks a lot".

Stainless · Post by **Stainless** » Wed May 13, 2009 1:05 pm

I found it entertaining. Would watch it again, but wouldn't write a thesis on it's design or bother arguing its qualities on the internet.

Thor Kaufman · Post by **Thor Kaufman** » Wed May 13, 2009 1:38 pm

How many Khaaaaans would you give it?

MadBill · Post by **MadBill** » Wed May 13, 2009 2:16 pm

Negative two. One NAAAAHK and an echo.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Wed May 13, 2009 2:50 pm

I might go see this tonight so I'll keep you updated via mobile phone on how it goes but not really. I like next generation and some of the old ones, but whichever. its a reB00T isnt it? i dont know.

POOPERSCOOPER · Post by **POOPERSCOOPER** » Wed May 13, 2009 4:48 pm

Thor Kaufman wrote:I didn't watch the movie, yet because the actors look like some soap opera kiddies, totally not kirkian or :picard: at all.
And popscythe says it sucks.

Is the movie worth a watch? Pooper, Nico, Megatron, what do you say?

I think it's worth a watch but if your a really die hard Star Trek fan then your chances of not liking it might double.

Aonaran · Post by **Aonaran** » Wed May 13, 2009 5:57 pm

JJ Abrams is a cunt-sniffer and a hack-asshole.

VasikkA · Post by **VasikkA** » Wed May 13, 2009 6:07 pm

popscythe wrote:

So it's nothing like previous Star Treks? Sounds promising.