Da Food Thread

[LoneGunman]

You look like that actor. What's-his-face. The bad guy in Casino Royale.

Mads Mikkelsen?

[Goretheglowingone]

You look like that actor. What's-his-face. The bad guy in Casino Royale.

gee... uhhh... is that a good thing?

[Manoil]

Fuggin' Good Sandwhich.

1 Ciabatta Roll
2 Slices of Oven-Roasted Turkey OR 1 Cooked Turkey Breast
3-4 Strips of Bacon or Turkey Bacon
Pine Nuts
Feta Cheese

Toast the Ciabatta. Don't need to get it golden-brown, just heat it up. If you're using Turkey Breast, make sure you cut it into flat slices that'll fit on the bread. Wrap the bacon in a paper towel, microwaving it for two minutes, forty seconds, minus 5-10 seconds to be softer, plus 5-10 seconds to be crunchier.
When the Ciabatta is done, lay the turkey in the roll, and (ripping the bacon strips in half) lay the bacon atop the turkey. To finish, sprinkle a small handfull of the feta on top of the bacon, and pine nuts with them. To add a bit more flavor to the sandwhich, you can add a small amount of pesto or a Vinaigrette to the top of your roll.
All that's left is to cut the sandwhich in half, but be sure to either eat over your sink, or on a plate; the feta and pine nuts often fall out and can make an annoying mess.
Also, the sandwhich is very dry, and it's good to have a drink ready when you get thirsty.


That's my sandwhich. And it is delicious.
If it sounds good, you can get all the ingredients at Costco.

[atoga]

lmao, danny is a guerilla marketer planted here by costco @____@

[Subhuman]

Don't forget to toast the pine nuts.

[Manoil]

lmao, danny is a guerilla marketer planted here by costco @____@

I wish. Least I'd have income doing that. But alas, the assholes have not replied to any of my 3 applications so far.

[popscythe]

All these ancient stickies are undead and terrible.

Their age of ONE MONTH cannot be denied.

[Thor Kaufman]

I wish I had a limit break, perhaps

[Nicolai]

what is your stance on the pistachio nuts vs cashewsss question, fellow gastronomers?

[S4ur0n27]

cashew all the way, even though it sounds like kosher

[Dreadnought]

cashew all the way, even though it sounds like kosher

I tried around and the only way CASHEW and KOSHER sound similar is when you use retard-mode of speech.

[Subhuman]

Retard mode is implied when you're talking to Susan.

[S4ur0n27]

thanks

though everybody knows jews eat cashews

[Dreadnought]

Yeah, and they can't prepare meat and milk together.


Anyway, post some REAL recipes which don't contain any pre-made ingredients so I have something to experiment with.

[Subhuman]

This is one of my regulars.

Spaghetti Carbonara

200g spaghetti (two servings, basically)
1-2 tsps olive oil
4-5 strips of bacon, or 100g of pancetta
4 tbsp vermouth or white wine
1 egg yolk
1 whole egg
4 tbsp freshly grated parmesan cheese
black pepper and nutmeg
1 tbsp or so of butter

Boil the pasta. Meanwhile, fry up the bacon in the oil until it's starting to crisp up, then pour over the vermouth or wine. Let it bubble away until you have about 2 teaspoons or so of bacon fat in the pan. Remove from the heat.

Now the sauce: Beat the yolk and whole egg with the cheese, pepper, and nutmeg in a bowl. When the pasta is done, put the bacon back on the heat and add the butter. Drain the pasta, add it to the bacon pan, then stir it all together so the pasta is coated. Take the pan OFF THE HEAT, then add the cheese and egg sauce, stirring well to combine everything (do this quickly so the egg doesn't scramble). Now eat.

[Frater Perdurabo]

This actually sounds very good. May give it a try.

[rabidpeanut]

Pistachio nuts kick the crap out of cashews, but i think it is cause they grow crap loads of cashews in Mozambique so i have eaten more cashews.

Cook some spaghetti al dente or make some yourself, eggs, olive oil, bit of salt, some good quality flour.

Fry up some onions in olive oil that has had a chilli crushed into it beforehand (leave it to soak for like a day if you can or use a mortar and pestle and not a jalapeno or some shit, something mild)
The onions must be starting to go brown so don't cook too hot.
Add some sundried tomato to fried onion and let them sit with the onion for about 2 mins on low (like in if your stove goes from 1to 6 put it on 2) and keep stirring

Then mix all that shit up in a big ass bowl and add some chopped olives if you have any.

Also if you have the time make some mayo: egg+ oil if you have a powerful blender then just dump 2 eggs with as much oil and add some lemon juice.

Sure to turn you into a greasy greek. ADD some salt to the spaghetti water for fuck's sake and some oil.

Fuck you guys.


This is good:

Okay fry some onions, like 2 biggish ones, in butter mind you and when i say BUTTER i mean BUTTER, like from a COW not margerine like from a bottle of hyrdogenated sunflower oil.

Chop up some shrooms like 200g, : your choice any sort will do. They are mainly water anywhay. Toss them in with the butter and onions that have browned up nicely let them cook off some of their water. Add a small amount of salt and a pinch of pepper. Add some garlic if you can but not lots.

Boil up some pasta like macaroni : al dente Now take all the onion and shroom mixture and shove it in a blender till it is totally creamed then add some milk, or if you can cream, coconut cream will do too. add 2 eggs to the stuff busy being turned into sauce and then some origanum. blend this until it is smooth: NO LUMPS. TOTALLY SMOOTH, you want the eggs to be completely emulsified or you will get gross lumps in the final product.

Then put the pasta in an oven proof bowl, pour the sauce over the pasta. If you have some green peppers cut one up and arrange it on top of the pasta then grate some cheese over it, cheddar will do fine.

Cook it for like 15mins at 150 Celsius. If you burn it don't blame me.

[Dreadnought]

When you post a recipe maybe say WHAT it is before you tell HOW to prepare it.

Also, I will pretend to ignore your comment on pistachios and cashews, as both are equally valuable.



Edit:


Ok you fools. I came up with something interesting today.

Pasta with a roulade-like but mince based meatball and a tomato-carrot sauce.


Ingredients:

1 clove of garlic
1 small onion
1 shallot
1 large carrot
1 large tomato
1 egg
100 g beef mince
dijon mustard
relish
1 dill cucumber
olive oil
parmigiano reggiano
mozarella
cream
chives


Italian herb mix, paprika, salt, pepper, rosemary, coriander

red, green and uncoloured pasta of your choice



dice onion

take a bowl and put half of the diced onion, mince, the egg (try just half coz a whole one might be too much or just add more mince... and everything else), a teaspoon of mustard, a teaspoon of relish as well as some salt, pepper and Italian herbs in it.

mix it properly

dice dill cucumber

put some mince on your hand and flatten it

put a bit of the diced dill cucumber on the mince

close mince to a meatball

heat up frying pan with olive oil in it

put meatballs in pan

boil water

add a bit cut garlic, coriander and rosemary when the meatballs start releasing juices

cook the pasta in the boiling water

preheat oven on as high as you can (unless you have a decent oven, but then you know what to do anyway, so just use your brain)

peel and dice the carrot, onion, shallot, tomato and cut or mince the garlic

take meatballs off the pan and put them on alufoil and shove it in the oven

(if you want you can pick the coriander off the pan)

put onion in pan and make it glassy (we will use the same pan so there should be enough fat on it)

add shallot and the rest of the garlic

when caramelized add diced carrot and wait till it starts getting soft

add diced tomato

add Italian herbs and salt if needed

wait till the diced tomatoes start getting liquid

add a generous amount of cream

add parmigiano reggiano

check meatballs

check pasta

when pasta ready put it on plate

cover with sauce

put meatball(s) on the pasta

cover with more sauce

top with mozarella

add chives and a bit of paprika for decoration/additional subtle culinary experience

drip a bit of extra cream over it









I liked the mix of sweet (carrot, shallot, tomato), sour (dill cucumber, tomato) and spicy (meat, sauce)

the paprika adds a nice touch and chives are always good

but with multi coloured pasta (usually red white and green) it looks really nice adding a sprinkle of red and green, as the sauce is orange-ish, the cheese on top is white/yellow, the paprika is red, the chives green

I should have taken a picture

I had a small portion of pasta, a nice layered colour scheme and the generous meatball was hidden under the cheese and sauce and kinda 'surprised' one while eating.
I analyzed the flavours and they are in a nice but a bit adventurous harmony. I could imagine some people wouldn't like it (as I know people who would rather commit suicide before eating a dill cucumber... idiots).


I'm going to check the recipe again, as the meal made me tired and I might have forgotten something essential.

[Redeye]

but with multi coloured pasta (usually red white and green) it looks really nice adding a sprinkle of red and green, as the sauce is orange-ish, the cheese on top is white/yellow, the paprika is red, the chives green

[Dreadnought]

What a bulky and clumsy comment. I am disappointed.