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 The Legend of the Wandering Pair from Vault 101 View next topic
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Elite Wanderer
Elite Wanderer


Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 655

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SenisterDenister wrote:
Do us a favor and don't stop by. You're only wasting your time here if you honestly think us of all people would read your banal fan-fiction. Seriously. Writing fan-fiction is a disease. Go see a doctor and if nothing else, just euthanize yourself and do the world a service.


Fan Ficiton has produced some great stuff. Some of the fan fiction starwars movies that have been produced are pretty good.

This isn't fan fiction though. This is a teadious, huge amount of CTRL+C/V in the worst formate possible. You're not creating fiction here, you're reciting everything every single one of us has been through; how ever "spiced" up may be it is still the F3 main story through the eyes of your character.

Considering the game has a shitty story with incredibly shallow characters and considering we've all been through it nobody is going to read this.

This forum has a fan fiction section and has produced some alright, dare I even say good stuff over the years but this is not one of them.

Something less boring and far more creative would've been to record a well edited and heavily modded in game "story-film" cramped into about 30 - 40 minutes. Even then diverting from the main plot-line and creating (through mods) or simply imagining your own would've been better.


And yes I have glanced over the other chapters and they do divert from the main plot somewhat. Perhaps enough to grip the attention of some huge Bethesda fanboy who reads this stuff before going to bed. But considering it's still the same characters and considering we all still know their stories this is a waste of time.
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Nave_Ninja
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 28 Jun 2011
Posts: 15
Location: Here and there, really.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Username wrote:
This forum has a fan fiction section and has produced some alright, dare I even say good stuff over the years but this is not one of them.
I suppose it's a good thing this forum didn't produce it, then.

Username wrote:
nobody is going to read this.
Nobody here, yes, I've come to realize that quite clearly. Only a fool would have thought otherwise after doing some digging.
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Elite Wanderer
Elite Wanderer


Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 655

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought you said you had done some digging.
And really there are assholes here but your work is very uncreative. It's rotten food with sugar glazing, lipstick on a pig, a cherry on a pile of crap.
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Nave_Ninja
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 28 Jun 2011
Posts: 15
Location: Here and there, really.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Username wrote:
I thought you said you had done some digging.
And really there are assholes here but your work is very uncreative. It's rotten food with sugar glazing, lipstick on a pig, a cherry on a pile of crap.
Oh, I did. Not here, not on this specific board (well, a little bit on this board), but on others, just to get a read of the community, current posts, so on and so forth. After doing so, that's when I decided to post the topic.

See, it was simple at first. Another Fallout forum, I'll just post a link to my story, maybe get five hits, day's done. Then, I realized exactly what would happen were I to do so, and did so anyway.

I did so because it's nice knowing that there are contrasts in this world. That there are people who would judge you and decide everything about you within the very first glance.

Sometimes, it's nice to read criticism instead of praise.
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Elite Wanderer
Elite Wanderer


Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 655

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nobody has judged you, just your uncreative story.
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Nave_Ninja
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 28 Jun 2011
Posts: 15
Location: Here and there, really.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Username wrote:
Nobody has judged you, just your uncreative story.
I doubt that nobody on here has thought less of me because of it.
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Elite Wanderer
Elite Wanderer


Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Posts: 655

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sure we have but there's no need to go to the corner, crying, thinking we have "judged" you.

All we know is that you've made a piece of uncreative crap and it's just like in Fallout. Your reputation has gone into negative from 0.
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Nave_Ninja
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 28 Jun 2011
Posts: 15
Location: Here and there, really.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Username wrote:
Sure we have but there's no need to go to the corner, crying, thinking we have "judged" you.

All we know is that you've made a piece of uncreative crap and it's just like in Fallout. Your reputation has gone into negative from 0.
Thinking you made me cry is certainly a hefty amount of flattery to place on yourself, I must say. I'm just here to read and reply.

Reputation, though, that's a good one. icon_clap God forbid I have people thinking lesser of me in a place like this, as if anything we do related to Fallout is justified in the long-term, like reputation is in real life.
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SenisterDenister
Living Legend
Living Legend


Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 3002
Location: Cackalackyland

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

For the record Username, I think a lot of people here are thinking less of this guy for his writing.

One of the big problems with folks like him is that his attitude stems from the kind of mind that thinks lurking is only a few days. And despite whatever this kid may say, I'm also assuming this guy is no more than 16 from the way he carries himself, he found this place because he didn't have the right kind of email to join NMA and he wouldn't go to RPG Codex because they berate anyone and everyone to a fuller degree than us, who are merely dicks to most people.

So this kid settles on us and spends a day or two looking through our posts, trying to read what we're talking about and attempting to get "the big picture" of this place through a brief skim but actually taking no time to really get an understanding of the psyche and personality of this place or its members.

So he posts his shitty fan-fiction and hopes for the best. He knows we don't like Fallout 3 or Bethesda, but he hopes for the best. Well the best most certainly didn't happen. He laughs and says its okay because he knew what was coming since he's been lurking, but you're still confused why we're so hostile.

You're ignorant, and you choose to be. You don't know this place no matter how much you said you've claimed to lurk, and posting your fan-ficiton proves that you haven't really lurked at all. You should know better than putting that shit on this forum.

You're a cunt. Please leave. icon_drunk
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Nave_Ninja
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 28 Jun 2011
Posts: 15
Location: Here and there, really.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Where did I say I was confused as to the hostility, exactly? Because so far it's been as expected.

As for leaving, I couldn't. I'd miss you too much.
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Yonmanc
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Posts: 2224
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I don't understand why you would make a fan-fiction for Fallout 3, there's nothing in it that can be expanded on. New Vegas I can understand, before or after the first one would be very interesting, and stuff relating to 2 would be good, lot of stuff to draw from there.

Every F3 FF just tends to be a players RP on their current gameplay:

"Oh shucks, there be super mutants, bam bam, now I'm gonna go drink in Megaton because it's the only city in the whole fuckin game LOL"

I mean granted yours might be different, but seeing as I'm not going to read it, I'm just going to carry on the assumption.

not a fan of the artwork you've provided either. I hate how every videogame fanboy relies on the manga style to avoid the fact they can't draw anything else. Plenty of "how to draw anime" websites that let people pick up an easy to learn style (intentionally easy, most manga and anime is designed to be easy for Phillipino wage slaves to draw quickly), not many websites teaching to draw Henry flint or J.G Jones, or Siku, because those are unique artists and trying to mimic somebody's personal style is a lot harder than mimicing a one size fits all shit drivel style from a country that sells dirty underwear from vending machines.


Last edited by Yonmanc on Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Blargh
Überkommando
Überkommando


Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 6316

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Please to be posting more of your magnum opus, miss. icon_drunk
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Blargh
Überkommando
Überkommando


Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 6316

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

And more of the pretty pretty pictures. So refreshing. icon_drunk
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Retlaw83
Goatse Messiah
Goatse Messiah


Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Posts: 5327

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

If this guy really has been lurking, he knows I don't agree with Username on much. But the fact I whole-heartedly agree with him in this instance should be a sign.
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Tofu Man
Paparazzi
Paparazzi


Joined: 06 Jul 2010
Posts: 1078

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You got to hand it to Nancy, as cries for attention go, this is much more tolerable than "O hai!icon_chick I have tits and am hot for zombies. I'm totally not fat and well past my daddy issues. Also, my mom just died, icon_sad omg wtf amirite!?!". Not by much, though.
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Megatron
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member


Joined: 19 Apr 2002
Posts: 7841
Location: The United Kingdoms

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I will have a quick read. I just had a quick look and its 19 chapters, which im not really going to read so I've chosen bits from chapter 3.

Quote:
Lucas sat down on a stool, lighting up a cigarette. He didn't smoke often, only when he needed to remain calm. Show, don't tell.

And right now, sitting across the table from Burke, the man who had shot him and attempted to blow up Megaton, his town, murdering everyone in it... he needed to stay calm.Show, don't tell. Again. It's also a little clunky

"So," Lucas began, taking the lit cig away from his mouth, "why'd you do it?"


Quote:

Burke let go and walked to leave.

"Sheriff!" Burke called out from behind him. Lucas turned back.

"What," he spoke austerely.At this point the sheriff has already turned to leave once, rushed to slam his head onto the table and is now doing the same thing.


Quote:
"I hope this suite will suit you, your highness." He cocked a smile.This suite will suit you? Try saying it out loud and seeing if it makes sense. If it's meant as a joke, it's not too good jeez


I got bored of quoting bits I didn't like lol. OverAll I'd say the dialogue isn't that exciting, but it's there. You tend to point things out and give a lot of information after the fact kinda thing. Also the whole romance angle doesn't necessarily suit Fallout 3 perhaps. If you wanted to do a post-apoc romance id focus more on the romantic angle in any kind of post-apoc world, maybe make up your own. But as far as i can tell youve wrote a 50000 word romance novel mixed with a computer game, im not entirely sure if it works.

Also, your paragraphs are about 3 sentences long. There isn't much description of whats going on, the thing reads more like a script than a story. I havent read the other chapters but do people really fall in love by the time they get to megaton or whatever? in the game i got there in an afternoon. from what little i read theres little tension between the 2 protagonists, like why not built it up more before hand and have them fuck by chapter 4 or some shit rather than OH WE LOVE EACH OTHER LETS GO THROUGH THE GAME AND LOVE EACH OTHER, its just a bit of a wet lettuce really.

I also question the practicality of writing a 30 chapter story for internet consumption. sure, people like to read. but it helps if the writings really good and you have an audience before hand i imagine, than spending a few months working on quite a big project maybe try doing shorter shittttt. whatever mang

[/b]
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rad resistance
Striding Hero
Striding Hero


Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 1435
Location: Penn's Woods

PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Their never exciting because most fan-fiction stories are shite.
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Megatron
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member


Joined: 19 Apr 2002
Posts: 7841
Location: The United Kingdoms

PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

some dude who wrote x-files fan fic now writes for fringe so, its a way i guess. i think its more to do with most fan fiction authors are shitttttt as well as just hi-jacking another world and characters that have been built up. already. you dig?

this one barely comes up with anything original, its a little like someone retelling you the plot of a film and injecting themselves as the protagonist. plus the 2 dudes are pretty much mary sues which is totalé dishwater man, fuck the player haters fuck the table breakers listen to the og mix and dr. dre opera 2010 rip ryan done
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Nave_Ninja
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 28 Jun 2011
Posts: 15
Location: Here and there, really.

PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey everyone! Just wanted to pop back in and say that after five years, the story is finished. I wanted to thank you all for the support and love I know you've been sending me ever since I posted it here. Hope you guys have been doing well and that you're all still the wonderful people that I remember you to be. You guys really helped me through a dark time and your support is invaluable. If I could, it'd hug every last one of you.

icon_hug

Well, gotta get going! Got Army stuff to do in Korea (I hear that things are getting a little bit nuts up north! Who knows, we might have some actual fallout soon!) so I'll head out again. Try and stay busy now, and remember to brush your teeth!

So long!
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FA Mount
Scarf-wearing n00b
Scarf-wearing n00b


Joined: 13 Dec 2014
Posts: 46

PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 6:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nave_Ninja wrote:
after five years, the story is finished

He really wrote:
five years

icon_drunk
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