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 Blood Runs Red - Fanfic story View next topic
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i2enegade
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Joined: 26 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Chapter One: Change in Management

The elevator opened and Charles Frost stepped into a huge room. The room was filled with pipes and wires winding high and low into the steam filled room. Across the steel bridge from Mr Frost large complex of computers circled around a white human sized box. As he neared he saw that the box was in fact a sarcophagus maintaining the life of the frail, but legendary Mr House. Frost looked down at the shrivelled body and pleading eyes stared up at him. Frost didn’t open the case, no, that would have made it harder for him to do. Instead he placed his pistol on the case pointing down at Mr House’s sunken head. And pulled the trigger.

The elevator returned him to the penthouse of the Lucky 38 casino, where no other living person has set foot in over 200 years save Frost and the late Mr House. Frost left the building quickly, passing the smoking ruins of the Mk I securitrons he had destroyed to gain access to the control room.

Frost sat on the steps in front of the casino. Cold murder did not sit easy on his mind. His companion and friend Boone sat down next to him. He did not say anything, for there was nothing to be said. After a moments respite, Frost regained his composure.It was time to return to Yes Man.

“Oh Hi, Can I help you?” Yes Man’s electronic voice greeted him. The securitron had been reprogrammed by Benny as part of his master plan to take over The Strip. Frost had discovered Yes Man and their plan after Benny fled from him at the Tops casino. Frost had swiftly adopted the plan as his own and Yes Man, lacking any security happily told the plan to anyone who asked, was more than happy to serve his new master.

“There’s been a change in management. Mr House is dead.” Frost told him solemnly.

“Mr House is out of the picture and you have the platinum chip? Wow this is wonderful.” Yes Man said and then wheeled off to the Lucky 38 casino to install himself to the mainframe.

Craig Boone followed at his side. The ex-first recon sniper of the NCR Army had agreed to accompany Frost after meeting in Novac. He was a good man, a good fighter who had saved Frost’s life on many occasions. He spoke rarely, but his presence was enough to support Frost.

Back in the Lucky 38, Yes Man installed himself to the mainframe. His securitron shell collapsed as his AI shifted into the mainframe. His simple, yet friendly face appeared on the mainframe computer. After a brief congratulatory speech he sent Frost down to the lower levels to view the presentation Mr House had planned for him.

The room was huge and resembled a combat training facility. Yes Man detailed the improvements to the securitrons whilst two of them demonstrated in the shooting range. All the updates were software-based allowing the improved use of weapons and thus combat effectiveness by 235% per securitron.

Frost left The Strip and arrived at El Dorado power station with instructions to install an override chip which would allow Yes Man to control securitrons at much further distances from the command and control point in the Lucky 38.

Frost and Boone were greeted by an NCR Sergeant, “Stay away from the power station. This is a restricted building.” Frost responded by promptly putting a silenced bullet in his head, while Boone drew a lever-action shotgun from his back.

“You ready?” Frost asked. Boone responded with a quick nod.

Frost kicked open the door to the plant. They dived through and before the guards new what was happening, half their number were dead. The remaining 4 managed to fire a few shots off before Boone blasted them across the room. Frost pulled a stimpack and stuck the needle in his shoulder where a bullet had hit him. He smiled as the warm chemicals flowed through him and soothed the pain. His shoulder would be as good as new in no time. Boone began to search the building and the corpses while Frost logged on the terminal.

“What’ve we got?” Frost asked Boone who promptly displayed couple of boxes of ammo and a handful of NCR name dog tags. Frost smiled; his influence extended.
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i2enegade
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Chapter Two: The Second Battle of the Hoover Dam

“Exiting news, the Legion army is due to arrive at the Hoover Dam. The beast in the east is ready for battle. Are you ready?” Yes Man said excitedly.

“Are you? You do realise that once this has been done, you will no longer be able to be a part of the NCR. You will be a part of this faction. Its not too late for you to walk out now”. Frost turned to Boone, who stared back at him and nodded.

“I’m with you.” Boone said. Frost slapped his hand on Boone’s shoulder and pulled him into a bear hug which Boone accepted with a degree of awkwardness.

“Then Yes Man, we are ready.”

“That’s great. I’ve been looking over Mr House’s force projections and running some calculations and it seems there are two ways we can win this. Hear that? We have options. First, we can reroute the dam’s power to the reactor at Fortification hill. That’ll wake up the securitron army you left on standby and will give us enough power to push the Legion and the NCR right out of the Mojave. Or we could destroy the dams generators. They the damn won’t be more than a big chunk of concrete and the NCR wont have any reason to stick around. But first, you need to install this override module at the terminal in the power control room. Good luck. See you at the damn.”

Frost and Boone arrived at the dam, armed to the teeth. The battle had already begun. The NCR had fortified the west side of the damn with sandbags and barricades. While the Legion poured down from the east. A command post was set up on the observation deck above the visitor centre of the dam. Men ran forward and back heading into the battle, hauling their wounded comrades to safety, relaying commands. If it was chaos here, what must it be like where the fighting was.

An explosion lit up the sky in front of them as a howitzer missile launcher exploded throwing them and the NCR troopers aside in the blast. Frost pulled himself to his feat and injected a stimpack into his leg. He grinned at Boone who nodded back, this was where the fun started. He drew his 12.7mm submachine gun and dived behind a sand barricade. He leant round the side and fired, dropping two legion soldiers. He pushed forward with NCR soldiers at his back, at his side.

He split away from the NCR squad and entered a tower of the damn. Two NCR heavy weapon troopers pointed their weapons at him. One of them informed him “You shouldn’t be here, this is restricted”.

Frost donned a panicked expression exclaiming “Colonel Moore is in trouble! She needs help now!”

“Damn it all to hell! Let’s go!” He shouted and then ran out of sight down the corridor. Frost smirked to Boone and entered to room. It contained a huge amount of electrical equipment and a lot of terminals. A sound behind him disturbed him and he leapt behind a barricade as a squad of legionaries ran into the room, guns blazing at the securitron. Frost quickly dispatched them with carefully aimed shots, before they could fire off any accurate shots.

He then installed the override chip onto the dam mainframe while Boone disposed of any legionaries or NCR who entered the room. While the NCR were on the side of Yes Man’s face appeared on the screen in front of him. “Hi! How nice to see you again” He said, “Soooo, we can blow up the damn or reroute the dams output to the Fort, waking up our own legion army who can plough down those Legion soldiers.”

“Send the power to the fort”. Frost told him, with a dive to the side as a gunshot clanked into the metal beside him. Boone took out the legionary before they could get another shot off.

“Yes! This is going to be fun!” Yes Man exclaimed sounding very excited, even for him. “Hit the switch and then go topside to deal with the Legion and the NCR”.

“Boone, lets move out.” Frost commanded and they left the room, stepping over the bodies in the doorway. The fighting was thick inside the dam as well as above. Frost and Boone cut through swaths of Legionaries as they fought their way to the generator room. They emerged onto a ledge above the floor where the fighting was thick. Frost made his way to the electrical switch and logged on while Boone picked off the Legionaries down below. A clank of metal against metal alerted Boone to imminent danger.

“Grenade!” He shouted and dived off the ledge back through the door, followed swiftly by Frost. Pulling themselves to their feet the ran back out the tower and rejoined the fight on the surface. The NCR forces were pushing forward, aided by Boomers’ B-29 airplane which flew over head bombing the Legion forces on the dam and up on Fortification Hill. Frost and Boone pushed forward alongside the NCR, over the dam and up the hill on the east to Legate’s Camp.

An explosion threw Frost into the air. He landed heavily and spat out blood. He tried to move but pain seared along his side. He rolled over onto his back and looked for Boone. The ex-recon sharpshooter was down, as were many of the NCR troopers who had been fighting alongside them. Frost looked up as a Legion Centurion walked towards him. The centurion raised his gun and pointed it at Frost. A gunshot echoed in Frost’s head; he opened his eyes. He was not dead. The centurion was lying across the hill, just another corpse, one of thousands dead this day.

“Need a hand?” A soft woman’s voice sounded behind him. He looked over and his heart lept.

“Cass, Arcade, I’m so glad to see you”, he paused a coughs racked his body, “Fix me up”. Arcade smiled and stuck a super-stimpack in Frost’s side.

“You’re gonna be fine, I gotta see to Boone”. He left Frost and ran over to Boone. Cass pulled Frost to his feat and pulled him into a hug. She released him and returned his gun to his hand.

“Cass get over here, Boone needs more than a stimpack.” Arcade called, a note of worry in his voice”. Cass turned to leave, but Frost pulled her back. He planted a kiss on her lips, winked and joined an NCR squad as they ran up the hill. Cass watched him for a moment and then went to help Arcade.

Frost and the squad made it into Legate’s Camp without any more casualties. Crucified bodies hung either side of the road down to the centre.

Legate Lanius stood watching Frost shoot his way through the camp. His Guard picked off the NCR soldiers one by one. The Legate wore a piece of unique armour and wore a horned, bearded mask. He carried a sword that looked to big for a human to carry. When he spoke it sounded deep and husky, yet immensely powerful.

“An envoy of Vegas, yet you carry yourself for battle. If so, you cannot truly be of that city of cowards.”

Frost looked up at the Legate. He was a huge man, tall and powerful. “If you think you’ve got any chance of taking Hoover Dam, you’re sadly mistaken”. Frost told him.

“Many graves in the east are filled with those who said as much. With braver words, and with less strength. It is Caeser’s will that this gate the west bare the mark of the Bull, not of the Bear. And Caeser’s will shall be done.”

“What, Caesar giving you orders from beyond the grave?”

“Caeser’s will is the will of the Legion. And the west…..The great bear exists to test the strength of the Legion. The west shall fall as the east fell. All the tribes as far as the setting sun shall bare the mark of the Legion”

“The Legion’s advance ends here”.

“Enough words, let our strength settle this” And with that, he drew his sword and leapt a Frost, who dived backwards and rolled down the hill, pulling his gun and firing into the Legate. His armour absorbed the bullets and he charged forward swinging his vast sword in front of him. The blow could carve a man in two. Frost ducked under the blade and fired up into the Legates chest. The armour was no match for the submachine gun at point blank range and Legate backed off, with his free hand clutching his stomach. Frost straightened up firing round clip after clip into the Legate. The legendary Legate Lanius dropped to one knee, wobbled but still didn’t fall. With a last bust of inhuman strength he lunged forward sinking his huge blade into Frost’s shoulder. As he did, Frost kept fired his gun straight threw the Legate’s neck. They both collapsed in a pile of blood. Frost pulled himself away from the Legate’s body, panting with adrenaline from the battle.

He stuck his last super-stimpack into his shoulder and injected a shot of med-x to numb the pain. He pulled himself to his feet and limped over to exit camp when 5 NCR Ranger Veterans walked up to him, escorting General Lee Oliver, the general of the NCR forces in the Mojave.

“Caeser on the cross. Been along time since I’ve seen the kind of work you laid down today… A damn long time. And the screams of those Legion bastards as they kicked dirt running east, like a choir of angels to my ears. Speaking of – That crazy light show over at the Fort, what the fuck was that, some kind of thumb from God you called down? Amazing, fucking amazing”.

Frost looked up at him, a smile played round the corners of his mouth. “Think that’s great? You won’t believe what happens next.”

“Uh er..umm..these boys with you…I don’t suppose you could as your boys to stand down”.

“General Oliver, Hoover Damn is ours. Time for you to head back west.”

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? If you think you can cash your chips with NCR bullets do you?” He threatened, angered at the betrayal.

“Retreat, or wipe NCR off the face of the Dam.”

“Right now you ain’t pissin’ me off, your pissin the Bear off. You’ve been far enough west to see how strong the Bear is. How long its claw is. If you fuck with the Bear then..”

Frost interrupted him “How about I ask these robots to fuck you and your entire battalion with a rocket barrage?”

“You think we’re gonna run back off west with our tail between our legs. No, I came here looking for a fight and if you’re looking to make me budge then you better have a good left hook or I’m staying.”

“You think these robots are all the forces I have?”

“Right now that’s all that’s standing there. That and the corpses. So that’s your plan, defend the dam all by your lonesome”.

“While the Boomers fly west? Works for me.”

“They wouldn’t…” His voice faltered.

“Who’s to say? I just suggested coming to Hoover Dam to them, and BOOM!”

“What a fuck of a day. Do you know what your doin’? Think carving out a nation is like munchin’ down a pack of fancy lad snack cakes. Think you got the guts to carve out a frontier? Build towns, protect roads, run supplies, train troops.”

“Can’t do a worse job than the Republic, that’s for sure”.

“Hell. I can’t believe we got suckered by some road jockey. We should’ve watched the flank while Caeser’s best was making all that noise. I know what those robots of yours can do on a bad day, and I’m not eager to toss lives at them just to make a point. But if you’re taking this place, you better hope you can hold it. I’ll give my superiors my opinion, but I don’t think they’re going to listen. So if the NCR comes at you, and it will, you better prey you’re ready. I promise you, our situation reversed, I’d see you hang.”

“Insults? Tsk tsk. Securitrons, please erase all trace of NCR from the area”.

“Come on then you sons of bitches.” He said as he drew his gun. But before he could even fire a shot, the securitrons slaughtered him and his escort.
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SenisterDenister
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

tl;dr

Alls I can say is that you tried too hard for mediocrity.
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Retlaw83
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I haven't seen dialog this awkward and stilted since Fallout 3.

Also, why would I want to read a shitty rewrite when I can play the good game?
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i2enegade
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Joined: 26 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Its a fanfic, its meant to be long.

And because it continues on from there. The dialogue there is taken from the game.


I'm getting the vibe this forum is just a swamp for shitty trolls.
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Blargh
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Red ? Gods, at least try some originality. It won't hurt you.

F.N.L x 503.2 wrote:
shitty


Bah, you clearly cannot recognise talent. icon_drunk
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SenisterDenister
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You are really just the worst kind of person. Being ignorant doesn't excuse you from being an idiot. Lurk forums before you start posting your self-aggrandizing fanfic that nobody cares about, because if you had lurked, you would have known we don't like no talent hacks like you, scooter.
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Manoil
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A retelling of events of New Vegas doesn't really qualify as fanfic, bro
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Retlaw83
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i2enegade wrote:
Its a fanfic, its meant to be long.


Being long for the sake of being long isn't a hallmark of anything aside from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Quote:
The dialogue there is taken from the game.


I noticed. Which again brings up the point - if the best part of your story is the dialog you ripped off directly from the game, why don't I just play the game?


Quote:
I'm getting the vibe this forum is just a swamp for shitty trolls.


No, it's a place where we shit on things that aren't quality. I'd wager under 1% of fan fiction falls in that category of quality, probably less.

I don't begrudge the fact you're writing; as a mental exercise, it's healthy. But you can't plaster your mental vomit across the internet and then get upset that people don't think it's Campbell's Chunky.

If somebody posted a picture of stick figures with some New Vegas screenshots copy and pasted onto and was serious about showing it off, they would get laughed out of here. What you just did is the literary equivalent.

The characters you're throwing around in the story aren't yours, so when people who like these characters see you ruining them they aren't going to enjoy it. The only way you can possibly make a decent chunk of fan fiction is to use no known characters, and if you use known characters make them extremely peripheral. And even then, given the laws of fan fiction, it will most likely still suck, but at least then you can fail on your own instead of using the works of professionals as a crutch.


Last edited by Retlaw83 on Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:53 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Stalagmite
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Manoil wrote:
A retelling of events of New Vegas doesn't really qualify as fanfic, bro

This.

Also, if you're going to retell events, at least add a bit of life into the characters, may almost make me not regret reading all of it.
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Retlaw83
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 5:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good thing Wzy came along. I've been in the market for a pelvic cheap ebook reader.
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