Fallout Sitcom: 40k REDUX part 4

[POOPERSCOOPER]

It was a warm and sunny day in mighty Canada and I was playing in the backyard with my friend from school while my brother Nicolai kept following us around asking if he could play too. I heard my parents fighting as I sat my ass on my brothers face while my friend held him down. I heard punches and glass breaking inside the house and I started to cry but then I unleashed a massive fart and a smirk hit my face as my brother squirmed.


My parents are getting a divorce, a long time in the making with possibly the only delay being what to do with us kids. Dinner at the table was awkward as my mom had black eyes and a swollen lip and my dad asked what my plans were for the summer even though he knew I was only 12 years old and that my plans included not a whole lot. He slammed down a cut out newspaper ad for…Military School.


FALLOUT SITCOM: 40K REDUX PART 4

Right before getting ready to go on the plane with my little brother to the secret Airport that led to the secret military base my mom stepped out of the car with half her face black and puffed out with her eye out of her socket. I clenched my hand and it made me want to punch my father till there was only a bloody mess left on the ground.

“Spazmo take care of your brother� said my mother who then looked at my brother and said “Nicolai, listen to your bother and stay out of trouble� as Nicolai then attempted to lick the tip of his nose with his eyes crossed and I slapped him on the back of his head. With Nicolai crying on the ground screaming that I broke his leg I gave my momma a hug and dragged my brother onto the plane with his stupid teddy bear he always brings with him.

Chapter 2

“Sir, the trainees are on their way to us� said Killzig. This was his first job in his life and he was nervous as hell because he had to work with one of the most legendary Generals of all time. The general was at his desk with his chair turned towards the window behind the desk. All that Killzig could see was a stack of papers in the general’s hands and giant puffs of smoke coming from his cigar. The general swiveled his chair around to reveal himself in all his glory… it was Marlon Brando all 300 pounds of him. He tossed the papers that were in his hand onto the desk spreading them all out.

SPAZMO, Canada. 12 years old with natural abilities to lead men into battle.

MEGATRON, England. 12 years old with abilities in the scouting and things others can’t understand.

KASHLUK, Finland. 12 years old but already the size of a 30 year old man with enough muscle to snap the most strongest of necks.

SMILEY, Denmark. 12 years old with one of the sharpest eye sights in the world, a natural born sniper.

NICOLAI brother of Spazmo, has to come along for Spazmo to join.

“Sir, do you think they can do it?� said Killzig. Brando slowly looked into Killzig’s eyes and said “They are the only hope we have left for the free world.� Brando ripped a fart while retaining his deadly serious face while Killzig tried to hold back his laughter.

Chapter 32

As we were lining up to get on the plane a giant limousine came up and a girl came out with a fur coat who looked like a stuck up bitch as she cut everyone in line and went in first to the plane saying “zomg get out of my way losers.�

The kid behind us gave us the scoop on the bitch. His first words were “He’s a male. He goes by the name Subhuman because no one from the human race actually likes his gay ass.� The kid giving us the information was named Megatron from England who had a constant contorted face like he had smelt someone farts.

As we were all on the plane and off to our secret destination a fat man came out of the pilots cock pit dressing in a military uniform with stars all over. He looks all the students in the face while they curled in fear but then he took a quick glance at me and I felt a weird tingling sensation in my head.

“You have the spunk kid� said the giant fat man without saying a word. It was like he was talking directly into my head. “Prepare yourself…Spazmo.�

Chapter 49

ZOmg all these people are fucking outcast buttfaces. I looked at the kid next to me and he made me want to barf because his cloths were soooo not matching. I almost cried when the general walked out with his puke green suit and has giant fat body…I felt my blood boil like it was on fire. I jumped out of my seat and did a super rainbow flip with my feet coming straight for the generals face but he disappeared as I landed on the ground where he was standing I look to my right and I see a giant fat hand coming at me and hit me in the throat knocking the air out of me.

The whole airplane laughed and I started to cry. I ran up to one of the windows and bashed it open with my head creating a blow dryer type effect but times 100.

Chapter 72 goddamnit

I opened my eyes but the sun was blinding and I heard the screams of children flying through the air falling to their doom. I tried to get up but a giant fist hit me in the face 5 times and I started to go asleep but before I went to sleep I could hear my brother’s screams. “HELP ME SPAZMO…help me� as he was dragged away before I finally passed out.

[Click on this link and the let the music load and start playing before reading the rest; http://personal.inet.fi/clan/kashluk/fa ... mesong.mp3 ]

Chapter 111: Mega-punch

LOL this is so fun flying through the air. I felt the warm tropical air in my face as I was flying to the ground at like a thousand feet per second. The ground looked like it was coming a bit too fast so I opened my mouth and parachuted to the ground softly and noticed that I had drifted into a jungle type area. A swarm of mosquitoes came at me and they started to make noise like someone was talking to me.

“MEGATRON, MY NAME IS DRAUDNAUGHT.�
“:chew:�
“SPEAK TO ME YOU swell guy¢â‚¬Â� and then fat kid appeared before me who was horrendously ugly as thousands of mosquitoes probably filled with malaria swarmed about him.
We both stared at each other for a couple minutes analyzing each other and Draudnaught started to get even angrier.
“SAY SOMETHING GOD DAMNIT� but I didn’t understand what he wanted me to say. He started to come closer to me and I felt a bit threatened as he walked closer until he was about 2 inches from my face and mosquitoes were surrounding us both. I said the only thing that could come to mind.
“Your fat and have sickle cell anemia� and then I punch him with my mega punch right in the face and he flew a thousand feet into a pool of water as he sunk to the bottom cause he didn’t know how to swim.

I laughed and started to run away somewhere more interesting.

Chapter 89: Fe Fi Fo Fung

My whole body was acking like I just had done a million butt squats but when I tried to look up as I was face down someone slammed my head into the ground. It felt like I had something inserted in my butt but I was almost too soar to check it out. The second time I tried to lift my body up it was pushed down again and I started to realize that someone was on my back. I don’t know what they were doing but it seems that they have confused me as a horse. I twist my head and saw someone wearing some type of deformed cowboy hat, like it was a wannabe cowboy hat.

“Hey! Get off of me you asshole� I said but I got no response only more thrusting and my asshole started to hurt tremendously.
“ME AUSTRIALIAN COWBOY YEEHA!!� said the guy on my back but he wasn’t really speaking to me just to himself. It became obvious that he had selective hearing and only does what he wants and not what anyone tells him to do.
I see my uncle Kashluk Senior Bob in the distance as a ghostly image and I saw a smaller image of myself, it was like a flashback. I could hear my uncle saying “Kashluk Junior Baby, you have to believe in yourself.�
Then when I squeezed my buns as tight as I could and the blood out of the guy’s penis rushed back into his body as I squeezed even more. I squeezed so hard that all the blood rushed to his head and his head exploded. I relaxed my buns as shit oozed out of them. I took a look at the cowboy hat the guy was wearing and all it said was “DarkUnderlord.�

Chapter 204

He’s still coming after me goddamnit and I’ve been running for over a half hour. I’ve never seen anything like it, it’s like a human cradle top as the mans head was like a giant freaken cone. He been spinning on top of it and coming at alarming speed with his legs imitating a helicopter. When I turned my head back to in front of me I see him appear instantly and head bunt me with his massive cone head.

“I was in…Iraq� said the guy. He then started charging at me with his head like a rhino and I took a rock that was next to my foot and aimed with all my might and I hit him right on the top of his head and the guy started to cry. The impact of the rock made the guys head swell and turned it into massive proportions until he couldn’t lift his head up and I could see the fear in his eyes.

“Help me smiley, I’m scared� and a couple tears started to roll down his face. I did what I thought was best and I smashed his fuckin face in with my foot but he kept talking so I kept smashing it until all that was left was a giant bloody mess…

Chapter She Bangs She Bangs

I wake up and find my brothers teddy bear by my side and a trail leading over a hill but I hear a small rumbling in the area and I look to my right and see some kid with massive running skills coming at me. He looked like he was walking like a toddler but at about thousand feet per second. He stopped about 5 feet away from me and I noticed it was megatron. He looked at the teddy bear in my hands and knew what my agenda was and gave me the nod that comrades give each other.

We walked a bit further up the hill and saw another kid from the plane called Kashluk who was a very big kid but it looked like he shit his pants. We didn’t really talk to him but he followed us anyways. Once we reached the top of the hill we met one other kid named Smiley who had some fucked up ears and stuff. We didn’t like him much but he wasn’t as bad as subhuman. All four of us walked down the hill to the cliff.

Chapter Sweet martini

ZOMG thank god I stole the drink cart from the airplane so that now I can mix my own drink. I just mixed a bit of orange juice with some anti-freeze and it created the perfect blend of taste in my mouth…

“Let me go you swell guy¢â‚¬Â� said Nicolai. I threw my drink in his face and he started to cry but then he hit me in the balls. Surprisingly it didn’t hurt as much as I thought and it almost felt good but I had to make sure he didn’t do it again and I gave him my bitchslap right to the face and I flew back doing a backflip in mid air off of the cliff. I started to masturbate furiously while I made a new drink to admire the scene.

Chapter DIE YOU OH SHIT I HEAR THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!!111!1111oneone

I see my brother fly off of the cliff and hear his screams until a giant splat echoes from the cliff as he hits the rocks bellow. I felt a tingling in the back of me head…

“Spazmo, let go of your feelings and attack at the heart of the beast…� Said brando in my head.

I run at Subhuman but he bitch slaps me in the face and I punch him in his throat and he barfs up the drink that he was sipping on and I saw the rainbows in his eyes and it just made me angrier.

“Mix this…swell guy¢â‚¬Â� and I did a super roundhouse kick and tore off has his face and broke his neck in the process. He fell to the ground and created a giant pool of blood that was pink in color.

I stare at the body on the rocks below the beach and I shed a tear while Megatron, Kashluk, and Smiley stand by my side. The sun was beginning to set and I grasped the teddy bear in my hand tighter. Off into the sunset I see the ghost of my brother and Marlon Brando holding hands while Brando said;

“You are….The Carebears.�


THE END

[Nicolai]

Postmodern to the max

[POOPERSCOOPER]

For those who haven't read the others here are the links

Part 1: http://www.duckandcover.cx/forums/viewtopic.php?t=12451

part 2: http://www.duckandcover.cx/forums/viewtopic.php?t=12488

part 3: http://www.duckandcover.cx/forums/viewtopic.php?t=13883

[Thor Kaufman]

very dada

[Megatron]

I liked it a lot. Next time I will help in the best udder way possible. forever

[Subhuman]

Compelling, but the Subhuman character is woefully underwritten and one-dimensional. You could have made him/her a bit more sympathetic, perhaps given him a secret agenda. As it is he's just a snobby OH SHIT I HEAR THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!!111!1111oneone with a drinking problem. Those are a dime a dozen.

[Dreadnought]

What a load of shit...

And who is this "DRAUDNAUGHT" you were talking about?

[POOPERSCOOPER]

It was you, I just didn't spell your name right for some reason.

[Kashluk]

Extraordinary. I like it

[Dogmeatlives]

Scooper, I just finished the extremely rough draft of the first sitcom comic. Spazmo and Killzig make an appearance so far. If you have any idea what you want them to look like, post pics. It starts from the beginning of part one where the family visits and Spazmo's flashback begins. It will probably take me forever to finish as there is so much other shit I am working on also.

[johnnygothisgun]

your flow is pretty killer, is there any chance of more material?

[Dreadnought]

It was you, I just didn't spell your name right for some reason.

NO U

[vx trauma]

Ja. meiner pants are positively encrusted with hot semen after reading that.