Reindeer Games

Role-play any post-apocalyptic scenario to your heart's content or discuss unofficial Fallout PnP games.
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Reindeer Games

Post by Megatron »

Welcome...to a time of darkness and magick....welcome...to the darkest time....the land had ever.....seen....ever!

(ED The land is as dark as a moonless midnight and let me tell you something for nothing)

Reindeer Games is a game...2 warriors can play. One
man goes in, one patriot comes out. It is literally that
simple okay?

PLZ PLZ PLZ stay in character okay don't
do any of typical BS that happens in reindeer games

In the good ol' days of DAC there were groups of knights in case you didn't know. There was thrasher and dasher, the terrific werewolf twins. Donna, sexy viking maiden from Iceland. Blitzen as well, the maniacal angel-faced boy with the voice of an angel!

Judges: Only god can judge me. :dinosaur:

-ED-Smilomaniac)
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Post by Megatron »

I chug on a fat cigar as the rain splatters down outside my dirty french windows. The columnous air lingers in the stale atmosphere like some kind of crazed monster. I slowly stand up from the leathery chair and stir my ice-cold whiskey before casting it into the hearth.

"HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?" I cry into the moonless night like a banshee wailing at the gates of hell. It had been 3 years since my wife had mysteriously disappeared. I cast a glance to my calendar and notice it is in fact 3 years to the very day. There is suddenly a knock at the door. A beam of moonlight shimmers through a raincloud like a beam of hopeful light cast down from an angel into the depths of hell. I grab my six-shooter and hurry to the door before swinging it open. "Ah...it's you...."
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

I'm the one who was hiding behind the door, trying to hear what this madman of a man was shouting. No, I hadn't forsaken him. I didn't leave 3 years ago for nothing. He betrayed me. But I'll remember him, for what he was. Forever.

My white dress is wet, and I'm soaked from earth to head. The wood is slippery, and I had fallen on the door. Now that I've been discovered, I have to confront the old warrior.

"Why did you do it?" I ask him.
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Post by Megatron »

I stand in shock, my eyes caressing the wet body from the coldness of my skull. "Susan...you're dead!" I say, both of her nipples visible against her beautiful bosom. I take her crotch in one hand and rub at the vagina, feeling the familiar and unique lump. "It is you! After all this time." Tears well up in my eyes like blood leaking from a gunshot wound, only to be lost in the rain. I embrace her in my arms, she struggles at first but eventually gives in to her womanly desires. "Kiss me, Herbert." she whispers, wrapping her lips around my nostrils. The scent of her breathe wraps around my brain and squeezes. I start to remember that night. The night I killed my wife.

It was a hot night in South France, I walked out onto the balcony only wearing my socks and sucking on a cigar. A small boy runs across the street below me, chased by a pack of dogs. I turn into the bedroom and greeted by my wife, her hairy pussy spread wide open and her greased fingers sliding out. She's as beautiful as a lobster dinner wrapped in tin-foil after a hard days work down at the station. I exhale a cloud of smoke and it dances in the air before I notice that we're late for the plane. "Quick, the plane!" I scream, slamming my penis into a suitcase. The pain and stupidity of it overwhelms me as I stagger towards the balcony and careen over the edge, down 3 stories and onto the cobbles. I groggily look up to see a black man abseiling down the hotel into my window while my wife starts to scream. Then it all goes black...

I come back to real life and stare my love in the eyes. I then slowly roll them up and see a car outside. A man stands under an umbrella, watching us. I lick her face hungrily, though I can't stop staring at the stranger. It is not long until I interuppt myself and shout "WHO THE DEVIL ARE YOU?!"
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

"Don't shout, please!!" I scream in agony. You didn't kill me, that night. "You hammered my body with your hands, feet and penis, thinking the black man was my lover. You left me floating in a pool of blood. I started to drown but slipped out of the window, and my ears hurt the sidewalk. Since then, my ears have grown into separate entities and they hear everything, they're SUPERDEVELOPPED."

I turn my back on Herbert, as tears fall my my left eye.

"I didn't com back for you" I say. "I'm here to tell you that you have a son".

Spinning once again on my feet, I throw my arm into the air and point at the stranger. The stranger slowly closes the umbrella and walks up to our hotel room. As he enter, I smile to him.

"I haven't named him yet" I announce to Herbert. "It's up to you, now, to feed him"

My hands suddenly move under my skirt, touching the bulge between my legs. A full-fledged gun comes out of it, mumbling to itself "kill, kill, kill". The monster creeps out under me and quickly runs to the ceiling.

The stranger puts his hands to his head, open his mouth wide but no sound comes out of it : he has no tongue. He cries, and his tears blend with mine and a river flows like the time between us.
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Post by Megatron »

I look upon this ghastly visage with such malice that I wee in my pants a little. I slap thine whore in the nose, flicking her head backwards into a somersault onto the concrete stairs. Her little bonce bounces on every step, all 40 of them. I stand, shaking, in the doorway to my castle and slowly turn to my apparent son. He quickly strikes me in the gut, his crude hands then reaching for my face. I watch the thumbs press down onto my eyes so I can feel the blackness before an overlooked thumbnail tears my left eye open. His dirty fingers still bury themselves into my skull like fat sausages, wonderful eye juice dribbles off my chin onto the carpet. I let out a blood-curdling scream, the blood I had been collecting in a bucket curdles before my very eye.

I grab at his penis with both hands and start pulling at it with all my might. With the skill of an acrobat I stand on his knees and keep tugging. If this doesn't get him off I don't know what will! The pressure is released from the remains of my beautiful eyes and the goliath starts silently screaming in my face. With one last twist I feel something pop out, just before I go head over heels down the staircase. I land next to my wife who had been watching the whole ordeal on her back in the rain. She turns to me and whispers...
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"Oooooh, what have you done? Our beautiful son! All he's good for now.... is opera!!!"

Slowly getting on my feet, I watch my black son screaming in agony floating in a pool of blood.

"Ooooh, what have you done, Herbert? I didn't come here for that. Actually, I didn't come here at all. I am a ghost. Literally. Try to touch me and you'll see I'm just a dream of your terrible mishap imagination. Your crazed, voluminous(too much), vile, terrible, imagination.

I seize the six-shooter that's sleeping on the couch, and while verifying that it's loaded, I turn on the TV to check the weather channel.

"The rain should end soon. I'm soaked."

I point the revolver at my son's head.

"Name him before I end it all!!"
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Post by Nicolai »

"Rosebud!" I ejaculate.
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Post by Megatron »

I cast a glance to the window and see some kind of monster illuminated by a flash of lightning, masturbating with a sledge. Curious. Though I have no time for such bollocks, my sons life is at stake for fucks sake! A name. The boy needs a name. I cast my mind back through the windmills of my mind, what kind of a name would this miserable bastard have. The penny dropped, I had it.

"His name...is Odin Poulsen." I sneer, pulling out my proton pack I had stashed under a chair. I slam that baby into full auto and rock and roll all over my wifes ghost, sending the corpses corpse out of the window and back from whence it came. The masturbating mad-man outside starts to scream as if by magic, so I zap him to. "Odin...time to fuck off and leave papa to clean up these bullshits." I zap him between the eyes and he runs off, tears streaming down his face. All is right with the world once more. Picking up a dusty old sledge I sit back down and settle for a good night of watching weather channel. Though there is a nagging doubt I have forgotten something.
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

"Ding dong" rings the bell.

Since nobody comes to answer at the door, Detective Oliver tries to open the door. It's unlocked. "HA HA HA, he forgot to lock his door!" is he thinking with devil-like malice. The genius devil living in this mess of a house forgot to lock his door! This is the house where a man killed his pregnant wife 3 years ago! We have yet to discover any evidence, but I'm certain I will be the one to!

Flipping his Colt .69 out of his pocket and attaching the meter-long silencer to the canon, the detective walks in slowly. The rain hadn't stopped yet, and water is flowing out of his pocket.

As he enters the room, an horrible scene is offered to his gleaming eyes : A beautiful man is lying in his bed, the TV remote in his left hand and a strange gun in his right. Blood is splashed all over the floor and up to the ceiling, and a penis is still swimming in it. The weather channel grimly announces "The rain will be falling for the next eternity".

"AAAARGGHHHH" the detective screams in despair, "WHHHYYYYYY??"

The man in the bed starts to move, and points the remote toward the cop...
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Post by Megatron »

"Hey...do you have a warrant?"
I pick up a cigar from my faithful cigar box and cut it at a 45 degree angle after rolling it in my fingers. I then light a piece of oak with a match and set it to the end, puffing slowly. I then wait for the ash to fall naturally, as not to disturb the way it burns.
"Listen up knucklehead, I have reasonable cause. I heard shouting."
I nod, notice he is staring at my red hot tip.
"Would you like a suck?" I offer him, though this snaps him out of the trance. The hulk grabs me by the cheeks and slaps some cuffs on me. Reading me my rights as we head to his car, the rain makes my face wet. What is a drop of rain compared to a storm, I muse while he violently shoves me in the back of the automobile. What is a thought...compared to a drop of thought?

We sit in silence as the car rolls down to the big city. Blank faces stare back at my single twinkling eye, I take another puff from my cigar. "Hey detective...have you ever considered what a drop of thoughts are compared to a storm of...dogshit?" He ignores me, so I fall asleep on the rough leather. I dream of France, the way the moon hits your eyes like a big piece of black tar heroin.

I wake later in my cell. There's a few other assholes here, each a godless son of a gun with nothing to lose. I stretch upwards, looking around before some drunk whistles at me through broken teeth "Watch out for him...they call him Razor Shadow..." He nods towards a man in a trenchcoat with a hook for a foot. Razor Shadow? Where have I heard that name before? Though I'm interuppted by the detective banging on the bars. He throws lumps of coal at me before turning towards Razor Shadow. "Hey Razor Shadow...those pieces of coal are whats left of your family." I sit silently as Razor Shadow turns to me, so I kick a piece of coal towards him.
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Razor Shadow, who has sitting like an indian chef in the middle of a group of middle aged jailers, jumps to his foot. His hook tingling on the cold, hard, concrete floor, he shouts "Hey, how DARE you kick this piece of coal like it was only a piece of coal? It's my famed brother, Razor Blade".

Lumping toward the coffee machine, he puts a few quarters in it and let the hot black liquid flow in his hands. Making a ball out of the coffee, he shoots it toward the new arrival. "Take this, cyclop!"

The coffee ball flies toward Herbert.
But misses and hit the guy behind him.

What if...?

As the detective comes in, everyone calms down and sit back. Razor Shadow is crying in a corner, because he realized he has really lost his touch.

"HEEEERRRRBBBBEEEEEERTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" shouts the policeman. "You're lucky, someone paid the ransom. OUT you are."

While being pushed out of the jail, Herbert, between two thoughts about France, is wondering who is freeing him.
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Post by Megatron »

The night was hot as heck and everything stunk of birdshit. I picked up a lump of coal on my way out and bite a chunk out of that motherfucker. "Why don't you make like a tree and fuck off?" I quipped before being pistol whipped in the face and thrown out of police headquarters. Detective Oliver looks down on me, gesturing wildly as if about to say something before going back inside. Who set me free? I wonder. Cest le mysterié!

The rain had turned into freezing hot snow. I trudged down the streets, my single eye taking in the neon undergrowth of the city. Pimps, whores, junkies...all the subhumans walked the streets as if it were some kind of circus. And I'm a lion. Over the ruckus of the street I hear a familiar voice, so I spin on my heel down a back-alley and see a couple squirming on the shitty floor. I'd recognize that big, fat ass anywhere. I slide her off and carry her away over my shoulder while the dickhead pulls his pants up. Both of us walk deeper into the alley before I throw her against a wall with all my might! "What's a classy chick like you doing in this hotdog stand?" I enquire, lighting a fine cigar with a piece of burning tumeric. Her pimp starts to follow us down the alley, but I don't even freaking care.
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"I'm trying to get some money so that I can eat something other then hot dogs!" shouts the young beautiful woman.

"I've been living in the ghettos for the past 5 years! Since you dumped me, I'm not the same any more!" cries the 20 year old girl. After taking advantage of my stupidty to get soem good time, you sent me away like a pure solid prostitute. I was a lone in a city populated only by black men and dogs, I was abandoned to myself, I had to sold my body thousands of time per second to strange species of men in order to eat only dicks!"

As the women goes hysteric, the pimp fires up his ghettoblaster. Celine Dion sings "I'M ALIVE".

"'ey niggah, you're troubling ma girl." says the chimp. Whipping out a banana, he starts again : "And it's a smoke-free environnement here, niggah, gimme that cheegar".

Flipping the banane upside down, Herbet realize that it's actually a gun. "Hey it's literally a gun!".
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Post by Megatron »

The pimp puts the gun to my head so I fall to my knees, begging. "Please mister! I'll do anything you want!" He pushes me into beautiful prostitute and pulls down his pants. We both stare at his big, thick cock that swings like some kind of baseball bat. A stream of piss arcs in the air and rains down on my face. I lick my lips as the jet of urine splashes into my mouth. The prostitute starts to hungrily lick it off my chin as it drips off and then her tongue wriggles into my mouth, the taste of a hundred cocks is quite interesting.

The pimp starts to milk himself as he watches me reach around into her butt. I run a finger down the hairy crack and slide it into the glorious hole. It contracts on my finger like a babies iron grip, before I slide out my fingers again and suck on them. I'm lying in an alley sucking the shit from under my fingernails while a pimp watches me while masturbating. With a sudden realization at my predicament I reach my hand down again and grab the hooker by the cunt. With my other hand I pull her hair and pick her up off the floor and throw her into the pimp. The pimp is slightly dazed before I stamp on the end of his dick with my heel. I rub it into the ground like a fat purple slug, his body contorts in agony. I start to run.

I don't know how long I was running for but I found myself outside a diner. My mouth tastes of piss and shit, so perhaps I should get a coffee. The diner is pretty dingy, I let some snow in as I lurch through the doors. A waitress looks at me with a blank face as if expecting something interesting to happen. "Coffee please, black as a moonless midnight and as sweet as...sugar." I spit. She serves up the boiling black liquid like a robot.
"One dollar."
I pause, the cup to my lips. I feel in my pockets for money, but all I have is a gun. I set the coffee down on the counter and stare the waitress in the eye. So this is the way it's going to be, huh? I buy something and have to pay for it, with real-world money. Well I'll worry about payment later, first I need to finish my coffee.
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

As the waitress walks away to the other end of the crestaurant, Herbert slowly sips his coffee, washing his mouth.

Having sipped the last sip of his cup that he was sipping, Herbert puts the sipped cup down on the counter with a loud "KABADOM!11!1".

Immediately the waitress turns around on herself and shouts "TIME TO PAY". Her legs arked like those of a cowboys, the fingertips of her right, left and middle hands carressing the three guns hanging from her belt, she continues her monologue : "Yes, time to pay, and don't forget the tip. I am so tired of clients not leaving me tip. I work hard, hours and hours every days of the weeks of the months of the years of my lifes of the time continuum, and I can barely afford this ugly brown dress."

Herbert knows he can't come close in rapidity to this fearsome and less robot. She must have an internal computer calculating the bigger of his movement. He decides to play another card of his deck :

"2 MANA AND RED ROSES!"

"Would you like to sit down and have a drink, my dear lady? This dress you wear is extremely exciting. I can see down to your dirtier secrets through it."
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Post by Megatron »

She leaned over, her jollies spilling out like two beautiful siamese babies being born from some kind of lacey vagina. The breasts heaved, her nipples like glorious red mountains on top of giant veiny planets. "You like...them?" she enquired, her bizarro robot thirst for logic had become curiously aroused by this new feeling of what humans call 'love'. She slowly ran a fingernail across one of the glorious mammaries and then slowly rolled and tweaked a nipple.

With a scream I reached across the counter and grabbed the boiling pot of coffee before smashing it over her head. It cracked and spilled the contents over her beautiful body, the hot liquid splashing onto the floor and leaving red rivers wherever it went. Slipping on the steaming puddle, she fell against the wall with a resounding crack before finally coming to rest crumpled on the floor.

I dragged the body out of a fire exit and left it in the snow. Before going back into the warmth of the diner I grabbed at an exposed tit. Fake. I sighed, shaking the snow off me as I re-entered the diner. Just as I was doing this the detective who had arrested me earlier entered. "Hey...do you work here?" he asked, taking off his coat. I looked around and shrugged. "Of course detective. I've worked my whole life here. Dick head." He laughed, lighting a cigarette before handing me an eye-patch. "The Doctor said you should wear this by the way. I just carry it around in case I saw you okay." I nodded, sliding it on. "So detective...what do you want with me?"
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

"A good talk", replies the detective after a few moments spent thinking to himself "Oh my God what am I gonna do?"

"Yes, a good talk. As soon as I started working on your case, I knew there was something special about it. About you. About your wife. Your son. And then your sudden love for cigar. I knew there was something definetely wrong, for I had never seen a man with such power turn so bad. You were the king of all men, your eyes could dictate anyone to dance, and with the power of your fists you could slam shut an infinite number of doors at the same time. And this terrible event. Your wife died..." The detective stopped, having noticed that Herbert was crying, his tears roaming down his cheek and down to the very positive ceiling.

"I'm sorry if I'm bringing back bad memories" started to apologize Oliver.

"No, no, it's not that", started Herbert, "it's more like YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF"

And with a slam of his fist, he hit the detective's cig. "This is a smoke free area, mister"

"Stop trying to hide your emotions, Herbert. You're not an iron man made of steel. You're not invincible like the president. You're just a man, and you have to talk. Let's go to my room, come on."

Just as Herbert was gonna accept the tempting invitation, the detective who had arrested him earlier entered.
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Post by Megatron »

2 many detectives. It was as if time and space had gotten stoned and decided to fuck with me for fun and even profit. How many people had to die so I could go to sleep huh? I almost pulled out my gun again before I stopped myself. No more. No more reindeer games for this wreckless son-of-a-gun! I wrip off my shirt, the buttons pop out and zing the detectives in the face.
"You want to see real terror? The kind that itches away underneath your eyes? Well you found it...detectives!" I screamed, revealing my tattoo of the most horrible image a person could ever see.

A detective started to vomit while the other one just stared at the horror. If you looked into his eyes you could see his belief in reality snapping. I stared at the ceiling, gritting my teeth and sweating bullets before deciding enough was enough. I ran into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, hypnotised by the madness that had been illustrated onto me. I don't know how much time passed, but when I tore my eye away from the macabre horror it was morning. I stepped back into the Diner, over the shaking bodies of the two detectives with faces contorted into screaming blowjob masks. I had took the test and survived, thank the lord!

Sitting down in the snow, passers-by started to gawk at my topless body. A car skidded down the road and flipped over before exploding. I felt in my pockets and picked out my last cigar, lighting it on a burning tyre. Surrounded by the twitching bodies of people with broken minds a detective clawed his way out of the Diner, he had scratched out his own eyes. "I can't see you Herbert, but I can smell that sickly sweet mildew sweat of yours...just talk to me!"
Turning to him, I blew a smoke ring. "Detective...you have to kill me. Cut off my head and bring it to Athena." He nodded. Both of us understood what needed to be done. The last showdown. High Noon. Buttfucked to death.
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Post by S4ur0n27 »

Glueing foil to his fists and hammers to his feet, Herbert was smoking his last cigar. Only a few centimeters left to it. A few centimeters, a few minutes, what's the difference? Oh yes, space continuum.

Well, only a few minutes before another street cold fighter would hit the dust. It would either be him or the detective. The blind detective with psionic powers and a massive headache. The very one who had made himself blind in order to evade Herbert's insanely gruesome attacks.

As the time passed by, Herbert was being invaded by dark thoughs. What's the point in all this fighting? Why do we need to end lifes to make our own continue? Herbert wished he could have lived peacefuly with his wife and son. But having killed both, it was now impossible. Yes, there definately is no turning back now. Getting up to his feet, Herbert butched his cigar in his ear. Ah, the sound of ashes.
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