I'd quote out of "Eleven American Stories", as I personally feel that it is the best book in that series were it not for the length of these stories, and the monotone comedy utilized by the book, a feature that requires the reader to spend both time and patience on getting the most out of the experience.
Instead, I have decided to teach the community how to speak the over telephone, something that may come in handy in the future.
RECOMMENDED: Read the exercises aloud, for maximum learning capability!
Exercise III
TOPICAL TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS
A. Appointments
1. Making an Appointment
Secretary: Two-four-nine; double eight-double two.
Mr Ivanov: I would like to make an appointment with Mr. Jeffries. This is Mr Ivanov speaking.
Secretary: Oh, yes, Mr Ivanov. Good morning. I'll get his schedule. Are you here?
Mr Ivanov: Yes.
Secretary: When would you like to come, Mr Ivanov?
Mr Ivanov: Tomorrow, if possible.
Secretary: I'm afraid he's tied up tomorrow. Is it urgent? If it is, perhaps we could fit you in somewhere.
Mr Ivanov: Look, lady. You just said he was tied up. Is he available tomorrow or not? I won't have any more of your lies.
Secretary: Excuse me?
Mr Ivanov: Listen to me, and listen good. It simple question. Is Mr Jeffries available tomorrow, or is he not?
Secretary: No, he is not.
Mr Ivanov: Then just say so. No need for circus. What about the day after tomorrow?
Secretary: What time would you like to come?'
Mr Ivanov: As late as possible in the afternoon.
Secretary: I'm sorry, that afternoon's full too. How is Friday afternoon at five?
Mr Ivanov: Ah, forget this.
2. Making an Appointment
Mr Zonov: Hello. Is this Mr Summerset? This is Mr Zonov speaking.
Mr Summerset: Hello. How are you?
Mr Zonov: Fine, thanks. Pretty busy. How are you, Mr Summerset?
Mr Summerset: O.K. I can't complain.
Mr Zonov: Why not?
Mr Summerset: It upsets my wife.
Mr Zonov: Glad to hear that. There is something I'd like to talk to you about. Can we meet early next week?
Mr Summerset: Sure with pleasure.
Mr Zonov: Could you come in my office. Say, Monday afternoon?
Mr Summerset: Monday afternoon?
Mr Zonov: Thank you.
Mr Summerset: Let me consult my wife. Yes, I guess it'll be all right. What time do you suggest?
Mr Zonov: Suppose we make it 3.30.
Mr Summerset: No, I mean seriously.
Mr Zonov: Yes, better make that 5.30.
Mr Summerset: Good hunting.
3. Making an Appointment with a Secretary
Mr Petrov: Hello. May I speak to Mr Ward, please?
Mr Ward: Let me see if he's in his office. Is this about the dues?
Mr Petrov: Good morning, Mr Ward. This is Petrov, Mr Gromov's assistant. Mr Gromov had to fly to Chicago on urgent business last night. He could not see you personally and so he asked me to get in touch with you instead and settle the matter you discussed.
Mr Ward: Listen, why won't you people leave me alone? I don't have any more money.
Mr Petrov: Thats fine, Mr Ward. I'll be right over.
Mr Ward: No, don't you come near me. I'll call the police, I swear.
Mr Petrov: Good day Mr Ward.
Mr Ward: Leave me alone. For gods sake, don't come over. Just leave me alone. Hello? Are you there? Mr. Petrov?
4. Appointment with a Doctor
Mr Nikolaev: Is that Dr Morton's office?
Secretary: Yes, sir.
Mr Nikolaev: This is Nikolaev speaking. Could you give the Doctor a message from me?
Secretary: Just a minute, sir. Listening.
Mr Nikolaev: The eagle has captured 2 rabbits. He'll understand what I mean.
Secretary: O.K. I'll give it to him right away.
Mr Nikolaev: Thank you. Good-bye.
5. Appointment with a Dentist
Mr Nikolaev: Good morning. Could I speak to Dr Williams' secretary please?
Secretary: What do you mean 'Good morning?' It's 5:30 pm.
Mr Nikolaev: Sorry. I was distracted, smoking. Dr Williams' secretary, please.
Secretary: Speaking.
Mr Nikolaev: Hello. My name is Nikolaev. I would like to have an appointment with the doctor.
Secretary: Is it something urgent, sir?
Mr Nikolaev: Yes, rather. The kidneys might go bad, if not properly taken care of.
Secretary: Pardon me, sir, but Dr Williams' is a dentist.
Mr Nikolaev: Oh, of course. I meant to say that my son needs a dentist, if you get my drift.
Secretary: I see. How old is he?
Mr Nikolaev: I don't know. About eight. Very good quality.
Secretary: No, this really is the dentists' office.
Mr Nikolaev: Oh. Excuse me. Good morning.
Secretary: Good-bye Mr Nikolaev.
