Duck and Cover Forum Index


Use these links, buy stuff from Amazon and help us out, nubs.
Amazon.com | Amazon.ca | Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.de
  Duck and Cover  •  FAQ  •  Search  •  Memberlist  •  Usergroups   •  Register  •  Profile  •  Log in to check your private messages  •  Log in

 Support DAC!
 Something I wrote a few months ago... View next topic
View previous topic
Post new topicReply to topic
Author Message
Yonmanc
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Posts: 2224
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 10:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It's a comicbook script, lemme know what you guys think:


Divine Epiphany

Page 1

Panel 1: We see a planet suspended in space, that looks a lot like Earth. Behind it we see nothingbut stars and pitch black space.

Caption: This is the planet Shiva. When God made this world, he intended it's people to be pure,hardworking, and kind.

Panel 2 (split-panel beginning): A group of men, women and children are sat around a campfire wearing peasent clothing. They are laughing and sharing a meal. Behind them we see wooden huts.

This is on a beach during a bright sunny day.

Caption: And for a while, they were. But eventually, greed and lust consumed them...

Panel 3 (split-panel middle): The people around the campfire are now fleeing, some being shot to the ground. Some of the huts are on fire. Overhead we see some helicopters shooting down at them.

Panel 4 (split-panel end): We see a fat married couple slouched in front of a television drinking beer in their living room. Their kids are fighting each other in front of them. The house looks a mess, untidy, and strewn with empty crisp packets, clothing and newspapers. On a table by the couch we see a handgun.

Caption:...until eventually the people gave up looking for a real purpose in life, instead filling the void with bleak consumerism and contempt.

Panel 5: We see a crowded city setting from the street level. It has a Times Square feel, but looks unique in it's own right. There is street vendor with what looks like a hot-dog cart, but instead it has a big green neon medical cross above it. The vendor is wearing a white doctors uniform. Under the cross an orange neon sign read "Street-Meds!". On the side of the cart is a big sticker reading "Heroin now 50% cheaper!". The street vendor is handing over a packet of drugs to a tired looking mother carrying shopping bags. He children are trying to get her attention but she's ignoring them. Behind the vendor, we see the base of a tall building, which reaches to the top of the panel. On the ground floor of the building are shop units. One of them reads "XXX Revue!. You got the cash, we got the gash!" This particular store unit has a crowd outside it. Next door to that is is a gun shop, which a red, white and blue neon sign reading "Def-Tek. Shoot First, Sue Later!". This store has a large glass window with an array of machine guns and missile launchers. The shop unit next to that is boarded up, with some tramps sleeping under its shelter, and next to that is a large fast food restaurant. It has a giant plastic burger over the doorway. The burger is open in the middle revealing a cartoon kitten popping out of it holding a sign reading "Fast Feline's, the cheapest meat to eat on your feet". Above these store units is a newsfeed ticker tape reading "Support our Troops, only buy Ugtopian made dildos! Senator Kiel cleared of drug charges, celebrates with drugs! See the new Ultra Death 6, in Cinemas now!"

Panel 6: We see a black God with white robes, beard etc, sat on a golden chair in the clouds. Next to him stands a tall cat with a human body (which is hidden under a white robe). Despite having a cat's face, he seems to have a "I-told-you-so". God is sat with with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, looking miserable.

Cat: I told you. Give them them free will and-

God: Yes yes I know! What am I gonna do!?

Cat: What can you do? You gave them nothing to live for.

Page 2

Panel 1: God has lifted his face from his hands and is looking towards the cat in anger, who doesn't seem to have a care in the world.

God: Not this stomm again! What's the point in giving them free will if I tell them what the right and wrong answers are!?

Cat: You're call big man.

Panel 2 (small panel): Close up of God's face, who now has a "drokk it" look on on his face.

God: Drokk it, might as well start again. Put the kettle on will ya?

Panel 3: Same planet shot used on page 1, except now the planet is exploding into a ball of flames.

Panel 4: Cat is hading God a cup of tea, he has another one in his other hand. God has a smile on his face has he reaches his arms up to take cup from the Cat. The cat has a matter of fact look on his face.

Cat: I know you're against setting them rules and such, but how about on your next one, visit them from time to time. You know, just to give them pointers?

God: But they can't look at me can they, or they explode.

Panel 5: God is slouched in his chair with a raised eyebrow, acknowledging the Cat's smart idea. The Cat has a raised eyebrow as he's delivering his speech.

Cat: Well, you could appear to the new people as something else. You know, like erm...a burning bush, or a sea serpent or a robot or something. That way, you can deliver your message without splattering their brains.

God: Not a bad idea.

Panel 6: Not a bad idea!

Page 3:

Panel 1: We see a large golden statue of a duck-billed platypus with an odd glow around in in the middle of the desert. It is surrounded by cowering peasents, who are worshipping it.

Caption: And so, on the new planet Zeruthia...

Peasents: Oh Holy Lord, we are not worthy of this kindness! Blessed is he who brings us life!

God (through the statue): Yes yes yes, calm down, it's me. I've brought you all here to discuss my plan for you. You see-

Peasents: A PLAN! HE HAS A PLAN! FOR US!! THE GREAT UGSINIANS! OH LORD, WHAT IS IT!? PLEASE TELL US YOUR PLAN!

God: Uh...well yes, I was just getting to that. It isn't exclusive to just Ugsinians by the way it's-

Peasents: Not exclusive! Who must we share you with Lord!? Please tell us! And don't say the Agranians because they keep stealing our corn!

God: WILL YOU STOP BUTTING IN! You will share me with all and...no wait a minute. I don't mean share me, I mean-

Peasents: YOU HEAR THAT, WE DON'T HAVE TO SHARE HIM! OH HOLY DAYS!

Off-panel voice: I told you! I told you they had God and they weren't going to share him!

Panel 2: We see an army of rival peasents on top of horses. They are wearing armour and

carrying spears. The leader of the horesback riders has his spear raised up in a signalling motion, his soldiers behind him are ready to charge.

Leader: First they won't share their corn, and now they want God to themselves! Agranians, ATTACK!

Panel 3: The Agranians are spearing all the Ugsinians to death in front of the golden platypus.

God: Oh for crying out loud!

Panel 3: Another exploding planet shot.

Caption: ...God was let down again...

Panel 4: Another exploding planet shot.

Caption: ...as he was with Guria....

Panel 5: Another exploding planet shot.

Caption ...and Sulia...

Panel 6: Final exploding planet shot.

Caption: ...and lest we forget Lophile, whose people miraculously mistook the message of God for smearing ones nipples with peanut butter before sexually assaulting marine life. Those poor sharks. But God wasn't willing to give up that easily.

Panel 7: God is sat musing in his throne, the Cat stood leaning againt the throne reading the newspaper.

Cat: Any ideas on your next move God?

God: Yes, new planet. Going to go about this one in a new and dynamic way. As far as name's go, what do you think of Earth?

Cat: Aye it's not bad that. Give it a go then, let's see how long this one will last.

God: Oh you'll be surprised this time. I've got a few aces up my sleeve.

Page 4:

Panel 1: We see a black Jesus nailed to a cross, with a dozen other crosses bearing corpses. The sky is claret red.

Caption: Unfortunately, Gods ingenious plan to pass his message through a peaceful leader didn't work out so well. But this time, rather than destroy the planet he decided to sit back and watch.

Panel 2: We see a shot of Ghandi as he is being assassinated.

Panel 3: We see JFK being assassinated.

Panel 4: We see Martin Luther King Jr being shot from his balcony.

Panel 5: We see John Lennon slumped in over at the entrace to the Dokota Hotel in New York, all covered in blood.

Panel 6: God is sat in his seat, gazing into thin air. He has a look of deep thought on his face. Cat is eating a snickers bar.

Cat: So how's this new planet going?

God: I think I've got it. All this time I've been losing my mind, because humans have been hurting each other and feeding of each other, instead of being happy, but maybe that's what makes them happy.

Cat: You mean they are just cruel selfish bastards?

God: Yeah! I just wanted them to be happy. The only ones who seem to be content without hurting people are atheists, and they don't even believe I exist! The people who are the kindest and the most thoughtful and have a good message? They go and kill them!

Cat: You sent your son down there this time didn't you, to spread the message of peace. How'd that go? Did they even take a little bit of the message on board?

God: One man shot another man this morning because the man he shot didn't believe Jesus ever rode a dinosaur.

Panel 7: God raises from his throne.

God: I think I'm done here.

Page 5:

Panel 1: We see a crowded city street. Two men are fighting each other. A pimp is collecting money from his hookers. Two hooded kids are spray painting their names on a store shutter. The buildings are strewn in graffitti tags and advertisement, and the floor is barely visible from under the garbage and puke. And cars are all beeping their horns angrily as traffic has stopped for a drunk man in the middle of the road with a traffic cone on his head.

Panel 2: We see a middle eastern town torn apart by warfare and bloodshed. There's nothing there except corpses and flaming buildings, and one lonely little boy.

Panel 3: The little boy looks up at the sky, tears running down his face and he quitely whispers to the sky.

Little Boy: God? Are you there god?

Panel 4: Cat and God are walking along the clouds carrying on their discussion.

Cat: So what if something catastrophic happens and they need your help. What about the children growing up in warzones, or the intelligent growing up in America's deep south.

God: Bah screw them, they all love conflict and misery, they roll around in it like pigs.

Cat: Fancy a beer?

God: That my friend, sounds heavenly.

Panel 5: Both God and Cat head off into the distance together.

END


Last edited by Yonmanc on Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:50 pm; edited 2 times in total
View user's profileSend private message
Taco-Hero
Strider of the Wastes
Strider of the Wastes


Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Posts: 913
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That was pretty good. The part after Jesus showing us all of the assasinations was pretty good. Have you written another one?
View user's profileSend private message
Yonmanc
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Posts: 2224
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nothing universal, I used to write a lot of Judge Dredd fanfic, I think this is the only thing I've saved that isn't fanfic related.
View user's profileSend private message
rein08
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 15 Jul 2010
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've read much of that before.
icon_chew icon_chew
But it's nice to know you got your mind working!
Keep it up!
View user's profileSend private message
Yonmanc
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Posts: 2224
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

rein08 wrote:
I've read much of that before.
icon_chew icon_chew
But it's nice to know you got your mind working!
Keep it up!


Oh really, where've you read it before? icon_chainsaw
View user's profileSend private message
Retlaw83
Goatse Messiah
Goatse Messiah


Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Posts: 5327

PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 8:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Probably at the advertising bot academy.
View user's profileSend private message
Display posts from previous:      
Post new topicReply to topic


Jump to:  



View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group