I think I almost got fired today

[airsoft guy]

Man, was it ever glorious.

So this district shitmonger comes in, this guy's like the head of our area and thus has a lot of pull. In fact he can fire you like that, just give him a reason and POW, you're done, leave NOW.

So I'm up at the front of the store waiting for a customer, I've got a couple bikes she bought on a U-Boat, I'm standing there very casually, got my boonie hat on with my Joy Maker pin and fake feather, a sucker in my mouth, instead of a white shirt I got a dark blue one on under my vest.



Out of nowhere this Nazi shitcamel comes up and he goes, “Hey, I’m Rear Admiral Fuckhat (obviously not his real name), the district manager.�

I shake his hand and say “hi� you know, like what normal people do, and then he goes, “What’s with the hat and the sucker?�

I pull the sucker out of my mouth, look at it and then look up at him, “I like suckers� I say.

He then informs me that, “Well, that hat isn’t very festive and that sucker… well you just don’t look like a Toys R Us employee. I need you to take the hat off and get rid of the sucker.�

I look at him and say, “okay,� and then put the sucker back in my mouth, he stood there looking at me for a second more before the customer I was holding the bikes for comes up and I take them out to her car for her.

I guess as I was walking out he nabbed another guy and asked him who I was, so who knows, maybe they’re just going to keep me around until they don’t really need me and then fire me or what, but you know, it felt real good knowing that I pissed this dickhead off because he knew I didn’t have any fear of him. What can he do? Fire me, right? Oh well, I’m still a punk teen living at home with mommy and daddy, I got room to be fearless towards authority. Besides, I do my job, customers seem to like me, so what if I don’t look like a good employee so long as I act like one?

I guess it’s not just me either, he’s a dick to everyone and nobody seems to like him because he’s one of those guys who knows he’s hot tits and makes sure to let everyone know it.

Of course I give just about everyone the same attitude, not saying I’m insubordinate, I’m just real calm about what I do. I had no place to put my sucker and I had no place to put my hat, I’ll dump them when I get to the back because I can’t leave my U-boat up at the front, they don’t like it when you do that. Seriously, these people I work with, some of them just need to step back, take a chill pill and realize it’s not that big a deal. If they all keep this up they’re going to get ulcers, or crap their pants or have a blood vessel blow in their brain and they’ll fall dead on the sales floor in front of little Bobby like that.

[ApTyp]

Next time, put a gun under the hat, so if anyone says "remove it", you say "ok" and do it. They'll see a gun and say "NO! Put it back on! I don't want to die!" and you'll just chuckle and spit on his shoes, but put the hat back on anyway, cause that old lady down the aisle looks like she's having a heart attack.

[Wolfman Walt]

Wear multiple NRA tags and next time ask him if it's against Toy's R Us policy to descriminate against formely mentally ill workers.

[Kashluk]

Why formerly?
Present's better.

[VasikkA]

Seriously, get rid of that hat. Sucker.

[Antimeasure]

What can he do? Fire me, right?

Presuming that you live in usa, they will probably sue you. Making you pay fifty billions of dollars.

Edith: http://www.alldumb.com/item/97/

[POOPERSCOOPER]

I don't think they will fire you because people don't really get fired in retail chains like that its more like they will pressure you to quit. I think being short with your DM was probably the thing that will make him mad, not wearing the hat and lolipop. Instead of saying "okay" then walking away I would of been like "okay, but let me help this customer first real quick."


As long as you don't wear the hat anymore you will be fine.

[Kahgan]

I'd wear the hat if I were you but I'd get rid ofthe sucker because, well, they suck :doublechew:

[vendetta]

Say goodbye for any pay increase, for sure. But I think you did the right thing. That sucker needed that, but you've made a new enemy and he'll surely get a revenge someday.

[Blargh]

An issue of principle, dignity and individuality of spirit versus (potential) pragmatism and caving into the inane demands of idiotic fuckers possessing disproportionate influence Who Should Not Be.

Three guesses.

Simply, it is hoped you've a window to other gainful employment if your current situation heads very much South.

[vx trauma]

follow him home. learn his driving habbits. get ak from gunshow. get an alibi. ambush the sucker at his way to work. get rid of ak after you drill it beyond recognition. continue to wear that hat.

[Wolfman Walt]

get ak from gunshow.

He's way ahead of you on that end.

[ApTyp]

AK? Why? You could get bolt-action Mosin for 4 times cheaper.

[SeanyD]

Nah, fuck buying a gun, i feel much more satisfication out of stabbing someone dead bang between the eyes with a weed knife...plus there much cheaper and you can buy a whole pack of them from Argos for 10 quid! (estimated 8 dollers).

[ApTyp]

Plus you leave tons of evidence for CSI to find
Hair, prints, your bodily fluids... Knife shape... With a scoped bolt-action, you just fire one from the black van, then speed away into the night

[Blargh]

Plus you leave tons of evidence for CSI to find

Only if you're a thoughtless, spontaneous sort of idiot. Which must be why you have raised these concerns. Oho.

[ApTyp]

You're an idiot if you think you can commit a perfect crime, and an even bigger idiot if you think you can do it by stabbing. Even wearing a mask, pair of gloves, and a brand new set of clothes, you can still fuck up - then, your only hope is that forensics technician isn't thorough enough.

One can only plan so much; in the end, luck (or lack thereof) is equally important.

[Wolfman Walt]

Well there are advantages and disadvantages to comitting a crime with a knife. Obviousily blood splatter is one of the more major disadvantages, as well as the likely precense of trace evidence. On the other hand, you don't have to register for a knife - you can buy a knife anywhere and they're much more readily available - you can dispose of a knife easier then a gun plus it's harder to identify a knife as the murder weapon in some instances. Lets just call the point moot and say it's better to NOT murder him.

[vx trauma]

but something MUST be done. sooner or later someone will murder him for being a powertrippin moron w small penis.

[St. Toxic]

Buy a thai hooker and get some love potion from a gypsy that lives in a swamp. Long story short, the guy falls madly in love with the thai hooker, and you kill her and dump the body in small chunks on his lawn with a corny message attached to the torso ( Like "We have your wife, pay us 50 000 deutsch marks" or something, that would be extremely funny ). He'll probably die from a broken heart, and you won't have to commit any murders whatsoever - das perfecht gecrime!