Chronicles of Stupid

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Janus Matchell
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Chronicles of Stupid

Post by Janus Matchell »

LEMME EXPLAIN THAT I HAVE DELVED INTO MY RECORDS OF ALL MY LOGS FROM MY GAME SESSIONS I HAVE TAKEN THE TO RECORD AND I WILL POST ACCOUNTS GIVEN FROM MY PERSPECTIVE HERE IN THIS TOPIC.

I will give my first CoS here in a little bit.
Ignore my warnings and pay no heed then your live will be ended shortly indeed!
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PART 1

Post by Janus Matchell »

NOTE: the campaign was a Fo campaign set up in Texas. Set near Central Texas. All characters in this party were male.
The characters of this session are Ok(tribal), Mena(gecko hunter), Kia(tribal shaman), Alvin(tribal), and Totz(scout)

The party was just waking up in their brahim hide tents and beginnining to go through their morning routine of stretches. After waking up they each had a breakfast consisting of brahim jerky and fruit (actually it was the last of the reserves which means they would have to go hunting again for themselves and the rest of their tribe.

Unfortunately do to the fact that the land they lived wasn't fertile enough to support anything other than cactus' and assorted plains grass that they ate when times were really down so their tribe was a group of nomad that had to travel alot to find food which was actually starting to get difficult because it was tornado season. So upon Kia's command they organized a hunting party to go after geckos.

The party was together they set off east in search of game with hardly any water (I think there was like maybe 2 liters of water between the 5 of them) and food (each had only 1 meals worth of rations each). It took about 4 hours of careful tracking with use of Totz survival skill to notice track in the dirt of a creature the size of a dog but it's track were frequent and close together (much like that of a roach, radscorpion, or ant. DONK! here comes the clueX4 maybe an encounter they may or not able to handle who knows). So far as they knew due to botched perceptions roll for the lot of them they thought they were huntings wovles or wild dogs. Another 2 and a half hours of hunting and no dice. Nothing.

So Ok decides to sit down while setting his spear down near a pile of bones that were obviously human. Thirst and hunger were hitting him like a fuckton of bricks so he decides at random to check this pile and finds absolutely nothing besides a few caps and a rusted harmonica. The rest of the party confused and bewildered at the discover of this dissonant tetanus riddled musical instrument start to fight over like a bunch of savages. Ok got defensive and started to hold the Harmonica closer. Alvin lunges for it pushing Ok over and back. The ground beneath them fell through (3 meters fall) and they were both lying in a dark pit of bones they could see something glistening in the dim light and it was moving towards them at quick speeds. Ok goes to grab his spear realizing that he left it up near the pit (the player playing Ok gets pissed and claims bullshit although he said what he was doing when he sat down and put his spear down on the ground.) starts trying to climb out of the pit, Alvin who is triumphing over taking the Harmonica from Ok begins to notice something flying through air at him at an overhead angle. He tries to dodge and gets pegged in the left ankle he begins to feel his leg stinging rather painfully as radscorpion venom is injected in his blood stream via his torn muscles. Alvin pulls his knife and in turn attacks the Radscorpion and CRITICALS it stabbing it right in its eyes. He managed to make it squeal in pain as hit tried to sting him again. Ok managed to climb out of the hole thanks to the party's help. They panic and take off running leaving Alvin alone and in the pit with the rad scorpion. They were so scared that they thought there would be more rad scorpions nearby (they guessed that one right, actually try 2 large rad scorpions and 2 small rad scorpions).

Down in pit Alvin is going commando with scorpion and luckily criticals again, this time killing the rad scopion he being resourceful uses his knife and a few bones to climb out. He got out of the pit an hour later and realized that he left to die by his party leaving him high and dry in the middle of no where. He found Ok's spear still laying on the ground and stumbles off in a direction to where he thinks the party went. He was poisoned, dehydrated and hungry.

Meanwhile the party's vibrations and noise alerted the other rad scorpions of the presence. The other 4 party members were tired and thirsty from their panic from the earlier encounter with the rad scorpion. Totz, the scout remembers he tagged the survival skill and begins searching for water and find three cacti. He has taken care of the party's water needs for the moment. They decide since night fall it upon them that it would be a good idea if they set up camp without any type of survival gear and tough out the cold almost freezing temperatures of the desert night. They set up watchers and start sleeping.

The rad scorpions had tracked them down and launched a late night attack on the party. They were surprised so the rad scorps got the first strike they all hit Mena and Ok which were both sleeping. After taking minor injuries from getting stung and poisoned they attacked back Mena with a sledge hammer and Ok with his fist. Mena did some serious damage to the rad scorp attacking him which cause one of it's pincers to fall off spraying a milky fluid every where. Ok critically missed and lost his next turn. The rest of the party sprang to and started goint after the two rad scorps on their friends. Keep in mind the other rad scorps were coming in from behind and attacked the rear and the flanks of the party. One of them criticaled and killed Kia in TWO attacks. Mena killed the rad scorp he was fighting he then moved into range of the large rad scorp that was attacking kia. The rad scorp in turn shook kia off of his tail and start gunning for Mena missing both times. Ok missed each strike eight times in a row and was getting pissied. Totz got behind the rad scorpion attacking Ok and manage to cripple the small rad scorpion by cleaving its tail clean off with his combat knife. A te second large rad scorpion moves in on Mena and swings missing him but striking his rad scorpion brother in the face which blinded it. Mena got hit by the second hit though and got a decent sized chunk rippped out of his leg which sent him falling to the ground screaming as the rad scorps tail pulled out. Ok finally connected 2 successful kicks into the small rad scorpions face cracking its carapace open and letting its contents spill onto the dirt. Totz an Ok moved into help Mena out and attacked the blind rad scorpion and barely managed to kill it. Mena got sturck again this time in the stomach which ripped his gut open and pulled intestines out like they were silly string. Mena was at 3 HP by this point. Ok picked up Mena's Sledge Hammer and smashed the rad scorpion real hard in it's brain causing it to be knocked out. Totz stabbed the shit out of it and killed it horribly.

After assesing that Kia was dead and Mena was dying they decided it would be wise if they put Mena out of his misery (for shame no one except for Kia took the Doctor and First Aid skill). They clipped the rad scorpions tail and decided to head off. At this point they were starting to feel the pain induced by the Rad scorpions venom.

Remember Alvin due to his amazingly high 10 luck he happened upon a caravan that was heading towards Waco. Because he was in serious need of help he got a ride with them provided he didn't start any fights or steal anything. He turned his weapon over to the caravan guards and went safely with the caravan.

Upon reaching Waco he discovered that were people past his tribe. People of all shapes sizes and economic situation were here in this city. There was some type of weird bartering bazaar in the parking lot of some place called Wa Mar(wal mart sans the l and the t). He however was in need of some anti venom stumbled into Doc's Deaths Demented Doctoring. Upon entering there was some man chopping the arm off of some one who looked unconscious or dead. Doc Death said "take a number I will be right with when I am done here." So Alvin waited patiently for about an hour by this point he was starting to hallucinate from the rad scorpion venom. Doc Death waltzed up to Alvin and diagnosed him right then and there with rad scorpion poison. Doc Death said "well damn boy I hope you have that rad scorpions venom sack because I may not be able to help you out." Alvin held up the very end of the rad scorpions stinger and handed it over to Doc Death. Doc Death laughed maniacly and said "I'll have an anti-venom whipped up for you in a second just try to stay alive for the next few minutes it won't take too terribly long." Two Hours passed Doc Death handed him a milky substance incased in an old whiskey bottle. Doc Death said, "Drink up you damn fool. I want the rest of it." Alvin drank the vaguely bad tasting anti-venom and handed the bottle back to Doc Death who proceded to finish it off and burp rather loudly. "Hell yeah thats the stuff!", exclaimed Doc Death. Alvin then left to explore this new place refered to as Waco.

The rest of the party that remained traveled north east following hoove pints left by Brahim they were only 6 hours old and the sun was starting to rise in the distance. Totz noticed the outlines of human shapes in the distance and ran as fast as the could to get to them. Screaming at the top of their lungs they got the peoples attention and they stopped. Upon arriving they noticed that were twelve strangers each armed with either a rifle or a shot gun further past them they noticed eight others that weren't armed and they were chained together by their hands and feet. Not liking where this was going Ok and Totz started backing away. The Head of the mysterious group of people said "Oh no. You not fucking going anywhere you fucking tribals drop the spear or prepare to be sodomized by hot 12 gauge death!" Ok tried to run and was struck in the head by one of the other peoples rifle butts. Totz surrender and allowed himself to be manacled. Before they set off again the leader said, "you'll sell good to Lawrence when we reach Waco. Just don't try anything cute or we'll kill you! Got it retard!" Totz nodded his head and said, "Me and Ok stung by rad scorpion. Me no feel good." The head slaver said, "Well tough shit tatoo face lemme know when you have something intelligent to say. Oh wait you dont. SO shut the fuck up you'll get medical attention when we get to Waco."

That was the end of the session that day anyways lack of team work and common sense will continue sometime later. In Chronicles of Stupid PART 2.
Last edited by Janus Matchell on Sun Aug 22, 2004 7:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
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error

Post by Janus Matchell »

ok heres the deal my party for the most part is idiots. Trust me I edited out alot of useless one liners that were very shitty. Trust me if you knew these people you would want them castrated ASAP. So please by all means post.
Last edited by Janus Matchell on Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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NOTE!

Post by Janus Matchell »

Listen these are going to be a little shorter. Sorry about the length of this text I typed from journal to web page so please don't complain too much.
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Post by atoga »

That wasn't that stupid. Most of my sessions have ended up a lot worse - even the ones where I don't kill two PCs. But, sure, I'll hate them if I'm supposed to. Anyway, continue in this wacky vigil.
suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. suddenly somebody will say like 'plate' or 'shrimp' or 'plate of shrimp', out of the blue, no explanation.
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Post by Lunchmeat »

Your rad scorpions display a great amount of cunning.
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well

Post by Janus Matchell »

Scorpions as well as Spiders are very smart indeed. The ones I had to observe such as black widows are hunting spiders. Scorpions that I have seen also seem ti go after other insects when they see them. So yes I believe Rad Scorpions should be able to outsmart a tribe of stupid people.
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PART 2

Post by Janus Matchell »

Note this is a continuation of Part 1 in the Chronicles of Stupid.
Characters depicted here are all male.
Old Characters:Alvin(betrayed tribal), Totz(scout), Ok(stupid tribal),
New Characters: Dean(coniving asshole of a thief), Shanti(Death Pit Master)

So we begin. Alvin was wandering about Waco seeing what bizarre items that he could perhaps barter for. He spotted an odd looking blade hanging in a stall where an burly old man and some children were talikng. Alvin wandered up and said, "What that?" while pointing at the blade. The old man stopped talking to the children and replied, "that my friend is a ripper. It doesn't work anymore but when it did I gutted many a poor dumb bastard with it." Almost as if qued the children standing around the old man went, "COOL!", "EWW!" or "AWESOME!" Alvin smiles and asks, "Can me buy it? Me need it to kill Scorps. Me give spear and funny item for it." Old man responded, "Nah, it doesn't work anymore it fried itself out last time I tried to use it. And by the way that funny instrument is a Harmonica I had one once but it got stolen. That one doesn't look safe for anyones health. Tell you what hows about I give you 30 caps for it?" Alvin: "Ok me not needed it anymore gimme caps. Hey what caps for?" Old Man:"They are currency used to buy things like food and water and perhaps even some gear. I at the moment don't have anything to sell you." While the Old Man said that there was all types of stuff hanging on the wall like clothes and a few spears and sledga hammers. Alvin completely lulled by that man drops the sublect and wanders off with his newly aquired monies(however due to Alvin being oblivious he seems not to notice the Old Man's bias against him for being a tribal.)

Meanwhile Ok wakes up with a spliting headache. He seems to be chained and gagged while being dragged throught the dirt. He felt naseus from the rad scorpion venom and vomits only to have go all over himself and back into his mouth because of his gag. One of the guys with a rifle walks over and lift him to his feet and says, "Keep in line asshole or I'll turn your brains into pina collada!" Ok shook his head and marched wearily with the rest of the slaves. Totz was barely walking as the venom still rampaged its way through his body. He said,"Please let me go. Me do no wrong!" The head of the slavers laughed along with the rest of his men and the Leader said, "Stupid tribal. Freedoms for smart people and you ain't smart at least not by my standards so shut the fuck up! Asshole!"

Totz, Ok and the rest of the slaves finally saw what looked to be vestiges of civilization and and a worn faded sign saying, "Welcome to Waco." The sign also said, "No stealing or murder without permission."(this was a hint for the players not to kill spree.) They were marched in single file and carefully secured into a holding pin inside of a building call Wa Mar. It was lit by barrel fires and a few torches. The roof of the building had some holes that allowed sun light to travel in. The building was almost empty except for a Huge Cage in the center of the room and some assorted smaller buildings made out of scrap and empty shells. Ok and Totz were forced to drink some nasty tasting milky substance by some burly guard before being put in the holding pin. The other slaves were so tired that they couldn't really try to get out of the cage. On the the floor Ok and Totz noticed fecies and a stronge scent of urine emanating up from the floor into their nostrils. Totz in turn pissed on the corner of pin to mark his territory.

Unbeknownst to Ok and Totz, Alvin saw them marched into the city escorted by Men wearing leather armor and carrying a various assortment of rifles and shotguns. Alvin snarled and kicked the dirt which in turn caused a rock to hit a heavily built, severly scared man wearing pants and a wife beater (enter Shanti). The man growled at him and said, "What The fuck! Did you do that for asshole?" Shanti cracked his knuckles and said, "Your lucky I'm nice or I just might have to break your jaw." Alvin stared at this man and said, "Me sorry me pissed." Shanti: "Oh really? What are you pissed about swell guy? Lemme guess I am too much of a badass for you? Is that what it is?" Alvin: "No. Tribe leave me to die in pit with scorpion and me want to kill them or get me a sorry from them... Who be those people with funny sticks?" Shanti: "Who them? They are the Legion slavers and enforcers of Waco. They work for Lawrence my boss who controls the slave trade and battle arena at Wa Mar. Other than that they are a bunch of assholes who pretty much get the run of the town. Oh and those funny sticks are called guns they kill without much honor damn cowards." Alvin: "So is Law-rence chief? He dont seem to me like nice guy. Me confused." Shanti: "Don't worry its not my fault your stupid but hey look at it this way. Your tribe will probably die in a few days when they have the Pit fights so don't worry the death claw they captured will probably rip them to shreds before they can scream." Alvin looks at Shanti in a pissed off way and says, "They no kill who I have to kill they not get vengeance me get vengeace. I kill them all with me alone if I have to." Shanti laughs: "No shit really they will probably turn you to mulch if you dare cross Lawrence or any of his boys. So if your gonna take them on they go ahead I need a good laugh." Alvin storms off angry and begins to devise a plan that will most likely fail.

Dean was sitting in Six Shooter junction nursing a flat, non-carbonated bottle of Nuka Cola. He was scanning the room for someone he could steal from without getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter. He sees one of the Slavers pass out at a table in the corner his rifle was leaning against the corner and his bandolier of 5, .223 rounds hung off of his chair.

Dean cautiously moved in the not so crowded bar to the drunken slaver. After rolling a successful Stealth check he managed to make it to the unconcious man and began to pilfer what items he did have with greed on his mind and treasure at the tips of his hands. Dean botches his next roll and from behind the counter the barkeep yells, "YOU SNEAKY THIEVING BASTARD SUNOVABITCH!!!" The commotion then alerted the unconscious slaver back to reality from his stupor. Three other bar regulars take off running right at Dean. Each one shouted, "WE ARE GONNA KILL YOU FOR FUCKING WITH OUR FRIEND ASSHOLE!" Dean pulled his brass knucks out and stood in a defensive stance waiting for the first dude to get to him. The first dude threw two punches and missed both times. Dean caught the man in the jaw with a left hook and barely fazed him. The next guy hit Dean in the new with a worn and whittled down baseball bat which caused Dean to fell to the floor of the bar in pain. The third man caught Dean in the face with the business end of his shoe. The Slaver confused and befuddled reaches for his rifle, cocked it and pointed it at one the men attacking some dude in front of him (sorry but with a perception of 2 after getting hammered you would be a little confused also.) he said, "Leave him alone fuckers!" The bar keep shouted, "he was-" BOOM one of the men took a .223 round to the gut and got thrown backs five feet (yes the slaver criticaled on the wrong dude.) to his death as he now had a new window through his insides. All the dudes attacking Dean backed off and the Bar Keep ducked behind the counter. It's just Dean and the Slaver and one dead dude still in the process of leaking all over the floor. The Slaver then realized who's who and points the gun at Dean who is prone.

Outside Alvin is walking past the bar and out of no where he here the sound of thunder from inside the bar known as Six Shooter Junction. He along with the people outside went running to see what the noise was about. From through one of the windows he spied one of the Slaver holding a funny stick that was smoking at the tip, he also saw a man cowering on the ground and behind him was a man with a hole the size a human head through his stomach. He saw the Slaver point the gun at the man on the floor. Alvin feeling a great sense of stupidity decided to help that man fixing to be shot. He took a step back to position himself before he jumped through the window. He startled the Slaver holding the gun as he went throught the window and tackled the man to then floor. However the Slaver fired and struck Dean in the forehead (a lucky shot dealing 24 points of damage due to the sensitivity of the location...you know that place where your brain is stored.) the last thing Dean felt was kind of searing hot breeze pass through central lobe as the bullet went out the back of his skull. Alvin and the Slaver struggled on the ground for a moment before the Slaver could muster enough strength to hit Alvin in the jaw with the butt of his gun. Alvin hit the floor and was about to be shot in the face like Dean then the Slaver gun went CLICK! (I botched badly). It was a tense moment, the Slaver said, "What the Fuck!" and turned the barrel forward to see if it was loaded as if by some twist of fate BOOM! the gun fired and struck the Slaver in the left eye socket destroying his left eye and creating a torrent of blood that sprayed forth from his face. Then slaver rolled on the the floor screaming in agony from the recent turn of events. Alvin got up on his feet and picked the rifle up from the ground and also took the bandolier off of chair. He stopped for a moment to see if the man he tried to save was still alive but no such luck he was as dead a dilligent and the brains and blood all over the floor showed it.

Shanti heard gun shots coming from the Six Shooter Junction and took off running after them hoping he would be in time to see violence and mayhem. But by the time he got there it was too late people were in a crowd and seemed to be talking amongst themselves as a man covered in blood came walking out. He recognized the man as the tribal he had talked to no longer than thirty minutes ago. Shanti then pushed through the crowd to Alvin and said, "Hey man you got to come with me before the Slavers get here. Follow me or you'll be killed for sure you dumb tribal fuck!"

Alvin followd Shanti through a maze of alleyways and stalls until they hit an area where a few hobos were sleeping. For a moment they caught their breath and Shanti said,"Just what the fuck were you doing?! You probably have the slavers after your dumbass as we speak! You seem like a good guy but shit haven't you heard of the subtle approach to getting things done!?!? I admire what you did but shit your more of an asshole than I thought when I met you like a minute ago." Alvin: "Me wanted to help man helpless man. Slaver was gonna kill him like he did other man. me don't like mean bad people me had to help. Me jump through window and knock man down he shot helpless man in head anyways. I got hit in jaw thought I was gonna die but evil person shot himself in face with thunder stick." Shanti: "So wait a minute you didn't kill him he shot himself the face!? Bullshit! Anyways he probably was drunk off his ass. That was his fucking busines hell for all you know that helpless could have been a thief or some other asshole! Listen ranger fred I don't care what is going on just don't do it again!" Alvin: "Me not evil me want to help but me must get even with tribe first." Shanti: "Like hell your gonna get even with them your gonna have to lay low until things cool off." Alvin shrugged and said, "Ok me hide here." Shanti: "Good idea dumb shit. Good thing I thought of that no stay while I go talk to a few friends to see if I can't get you out of here."

Shanti took off to Wa Mar and went in through the double doosr that had plate steel over the glass. On his way to Wa Ma, however he saw some of the Slavers drag the corpses through the street to a cart, where they would have the corpses wheeled in to feed Lawrence's pet Death Claw. Shanti was stopped by head slaver Charles who looked as usual as if he were was pissed about something. Charles: "What the fuck do you want Shanti? It ain't friday fight day so unless you have business with Lawrence you can just get out!" Shanti: "I have business. I know who killed one of you boys. I have hime hiding out over in Hobo town near that old grocery store on the Valley." Charles smiles and said, "Oh really Lawrence will be glad to hear that." And dissappeard behind another set of double doors for about five minutes. He returned and said, "Lawrence wants to talk with you. Follow me." Charles led Shanti past a few holding cages where he saw some of the new slaves that came in earlier. Charles led Shanti all the way through to the back through another set of double doors which had about six guards each armed with the latest and greatest gear that Lawrence could buy. Each guard was wearing metal armor and had Desert Eagles, Combat Shotguns or Colt SMG's.

After Shanti was searched and relieved of his brass knuckles he was escorted into an office that smelt of cigars and fine alcohol. In back of the room was a desk and behind that desk sat a caucasian, balding, middle aged man wearing a dark navy blue business and a dark smirk. He gestured and said, "Have a seat. Would you like something to drink maybe perhaps even to eat?" Shanti sait while sitting down said, "Don't mind if I do. I wouldn't mind a drink perhaps." Lawrence signaled for one of his females slaves to get a drink for Shanti and said, " So you know where this murderer is eh? How did you come about this information? Was it a hobo or did you yourself personally see him in hobo town?"
Shanti while taking a sip from his hard liquer drink, " Wow! that drink is strong! Shit man its like I just got hit in the balls by a sledge hammer!-"
Lawrence: "Please just answer my question." Shanti: "Man I feel weird! Well you you see the thing is that I saw him leave bar holding a rifle that one of your men was carrying. Anyways I stopped him from leaving and got him lost in hobo town. Anyways I got him hiding near that old HEB on valleys mills. So lets talk payment ok. How much do I get?" Lawrence: "Actually you get nothing for helping because if I wanted that fool to be caught I would have had my men get him sooner. Thanks though your employment is officially terminated with me."

Before Shanti could act he was struck in the back of the head with a Louisville slugger which knocked him out cold after four swings. The last thing he heard before falling unconcious was Lawrence, " Throw him in with the rest of the slaves. That moron will fight come friday. Charles send four..."

Ok and Totz had been in their new home for about two hours when the guards drug Shanti in. He was bleeding from the back of his head. Totz examined his injury and realized it was three nasty lumps on the back of that mans scalp. He could hear the mans heart beating so he knew he was still alive at least. The guards near their cage were approached by the head slaver and were told to follow him. Ok and Totz were over joyed that now they would then have a chance to get out but no sooner than them thinking that another guard holding an SMG came and stood watch on the slaves. Ok and Totz gave each other the "god dammit!" look (the people playing those character were like you asshole. Always stopping us from having fun.) The guard stood there for a minute and and sat down at a stool near the door to then pin. In a few minutes he nodded off and was out cold (hint! hint! Here comes the clue train theres a chance to escape. But alas the retards playing the characters didn't grasp the concept of a hint.).

Back in hobo town Alvin had been waiting for Shanti to return but 45 minutes had passed and still nothing. Pretty soon hobos were shuffling inside of and old building across the street from where he was standing. He being the unlovable idiot that everyone hates follows the hobos into the building. I was poorly lit and he noticed that the hobos were sitting on shelves that had been knocked oved to make seats and in the far back was a stage made out of shelves with wood and metal covering the gaps to form a smooth surface. The noise in the room died down and a battery powered light came on and shined on the stage. A man and a woman walked on stage. They were both well dressed and were as clean as clean could get in the wastes.

That is where the session ended that day
Last edited by Janus Matchell on Fri Aug 20, 2004 10:19 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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um...

Post by Janus Matchell »

I know its a bit longer but hey it goes into more detail. SO enjoy ok. Thanks much for your support so far.
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ok

Post by Janus Matchell »

I will post more. There wasn't as much combat but there was alot of dialogue. This was perhaps where I sparked my role-players to think for once. It didn't matter that they were inside the box but it mattered that they were thinking.
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er

Post by Janus Matchell »

I just did some editing on CoS:part 2 and am almost done with part 3 please enjoy. And by all means post. please also keep it on topic.
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Post by Guest »

Man are your stories LONG. But i don't mind, they're kewl.
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yupo hust like alpo

Post by Janus Matchell »

Hey thanks there FR. Yeah I will be posting here in the next few days but at the moment I got shit I have to do like work. So toodles until then. UPDATE: I have just started the fall semester of college and it has been a pain in the arse for only 2 days passing. I will hopefully have CoS:Part 3 up by thursday. Note the key word used here is HOPEFULLY. Alright?
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Chronicles of Stupid:Part 3

Post by Janus Matchell »

Note this is a continuation of Part 2 in the Chronicles of Stupid.
Characters depicted here are all male.
Old Characters:Alvin(betrayed tribal), Totz(scout), Ok(stupid tribal), Shanti (pitfighting sellout asshole traitor)
New Characters:Waine(Slaver Hating Wandering Gunslinger), Gavin(Burly psychotic vigilante/exslaver) BE WARNED THERE IS PROFANITY! (now why I didn't say this sooner is your guess.)

So begins another RP session. Waine had finally made it into Waco before sundown. His feet were sore and he was hankering for a bottle or two of gamma gulp beer. Upon entering Waco he took particular note of the sign that stated: "No stealing or murder without permission." Waine nodded and muttered just within earshot of one of the slavers, "Damn bastards are everywhere likes cochroaches. Looks like I am gonna have to do some asskickery of my own this time." He stood there for a minute and took a swig of his nearly dry canteen. A man holding a 10mm pistol, wearing leather armor walked up and asked, "State yir business faggit or your gonna have to turn around and leave." Waine looked at the slaver like he was crazy and said, "Oh really? So you think your gonna stop me from entering this pissant town? What are you gonna do if I don't? Call for your mommy? Huh OH SHIT I HEAR THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!!111!1111oneone?" The Slaver facial expression grew into more of a hateful scowl and he said in a very low mumbly voice, "Listen fucker you just earned a spot on my shit list. And if you hit my shit list you don't get off it. So are you going to turn back or are me and my friends going to have to stomp your face into the ground? Huh OH SHIT I HEAR THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!!111!1111oneone?" Waine looked around and didn't see any other slavers nearby (most of them were hunting for Alvin) and leaned into whisper to the Slaver, "What friends? I see no friends nearby so I think I'm gonna call your bluff. Asshole." (Waine criticaled on a speech check.) The Slavers body language went from intimidating asshole to intimidated like a dog with it's tail between it's legs. The slaver then said, "I ain't taking no shit from strangers especially you." The slaver tried to raise his pistol but Waine was fast and with lightning fast reflexs slit the slavers throat open with a combat knife he had up his jacket sleeve. The slaver fell to the ground gurgling in place of screaming. For a moment blood sputtered from the vertical slit in his throat. Waine drug the now dead slavers body out a little past the city limits to a burnt out hulk of a car where he leaned the newly dead corspe against in a position vaguely reminiscent of sleep. He pocketed the dead slavers pistol and a stimpack and moved back into Waco as if nothing had happened.

Meanwhile Alvin stood in that now crowded remains of an HEB and marveled at the profound words the clean man in the suit said, "Lord there is violence in the streets, hunger in our homes and death all around us! We must surpass this trial that you have set before so that we may walk out forged from the fire of hardship! We must endure that serpent Lawrence and his regime of murderers, theives, and liars! Oh please oh Lord please bring forth your retribution upon them for their truly detestable deeds so that we may live free in happiness and equality in this wasteland. Oh Lord-" The preachers speach was cut short by an interruption from the back it was Charles and a posse entering the HEB in search of Alvin. Charles said, "Can it Reverend your pissant god ain't here to help you or your stupid retards. Trust me if you shut up now you might live through this if you give me one of yours. He killed one of my boys and if I don't get him I might just start on your congregation here." At that point Charles grabbed one of the homeless standing right next to him and held I .44 magnum revolver to the side of his head. Reverend Thorton said, "If you do that you will surely be damned to hell. Please let that man go he is innocent and I know not of this murderer you speak of." Charles grinned showing the yellow of his teeth and said, "No one's innocent here reverend. This man will die if you don't turn over the murderer now. Oh by the way, there is no hell because this hell." Charles with his right hand clicked the revolver's hammer back and right before he fired a sharp object pierced through his index and middle fingers. He screamed, "Oh shit dammit! Your all going to DIE!" He dropped his magnum but still held the homeless man as a shield. Alvin had thrown the knife in order to save that mans life unlike the other one that he couldn't save at the bar he succeeded this time. (Alvin had criticalled the knife throw and pegged Charles in the hand pretty good.)

For about a minute it was silent and then all hell broke loose The Slavers sent to capture were in the middle of a riot that they weren't prepared for at all. Reverend Thorton and his followers were in a full blown melee with slavers. The Slavers opened up into the crowd but to no avail they were stormed by Hobos with God in their hearts, liquor in their stomachs and violence at their finger tips. Alvin was stuck in the middle of the riot he had his spear out and was in the pricess of trying to disarm a slaver carrying a hunting rifle. The Slaver batted the spear away with butt of his gun and turned it around to fire and missed hitting a hobo in the hip he dropped to the ground immediately from pain. Before the slave could readjust his aim Alvin thrust into his left shoulder with the force of a Mack-Truck. The force of the blow was enought to break spears point into the slavers shoulder. Alvin what remain of his spear to hit the slaver in the side of his head with brute force but missed and a loud WHOOSH! went over the slavers head as he ducked. The Slaver tried to get another shot off at Alvin but missed and hit another hobo instead of hitting Alvin. Alvin did the same trick again but instead of going for the head he thrust the broken spear with all his might into the slaver groin and the broken part of the spear tip drove intself in as far as it could go. This time this slave was on the ground and in serious pain as his nut sack was popped like a huge zit in between his legs. Blood was seeping through the fabric of his pants and the man rolled about the floor like a man who was just castrated by a stick.

Alvin left the spear to stick in the slavers crotch and moved for the exit to the HEB. After four minutes of puching pushing and shoving he managed to push his way past Slaver and Hobo alike and made it outside. He then took off running trying to put as much distance between himself and the rioters. He focused his sight behind as to make sure that he wasn't being chased and with paying attention was closelined by Charles perfectly which sent Alvin to the ground like a fuckton of bricks. Charles walked up, pointed with his deformed right hand and said, "YOU TRIBAL PIECE OF SHIT I WILL KILL YOU FOR THIS." He raised his leg and stomped on Alvins face which in turn sent him into a world of stars and pain.

Shanti was just starting to wake up. He felt dizzy like he had just been hit four times in the head with a Louisville Slugger. He stumbled to his feet and adjust his vision to his surroundings the last thing he remembered was sitting in Lawrence's office and drinking some ROTGUT. Now that he was here he saw that he wasn't alone there were others. Two of the tribals in the cage came up to him (Ok and Totz) and checked his injury. Although Shanti wanted to be left alone he knew that was out of the question. Totz spoke, "You stupid fuck like us? We called by mean man that." Shanti said, "No. I ain't no stupid fuck I was just thrown in here for no good reason. You know like I was one you dumb fucks. But don't worry I am quite strong and alot smarter than you and all your little primative friends." Ok who was getting sick of neing degraded clenched his fist and socked Shanti in the jaw. Shanti was caught of guard and was thrown into the bars of the cage. Shanti regained his composure, got into a boxers stance and said, "Is that all you got you pussy? I have taken harder hit from my ma." Ok lunged in on Shanti for a tackle but instead missed Shanti and slammed head first into the bars. Shanti kicked Ok in the ribs two goods times which were followed in succession with loud unhealthy cracking sounds. Ok dropped like a sack of cow shit to the floor of the holding pin unconcious. Totz jumped on Shanti's back swinging and biting Shanti in the left ear which in turn took a chunk out of the bottom of his ear lobe. Shanti yelled, "YOU CHEAP BASTARD!" He then grabbed Totz by the left side of his head where his hair hung low and pulled with all his might. A wet ripping sound came from Totz' head as his scalp was getting ripped clean from his skull. Totz yelped and grabbed Shanti's hand and tried in futility to break Shanti's iron grip. Totz was then flipped off of Shanti's back and to the floor. Shanti kicked Totz in his forearm and forehead. Totz took the abuse and tried to ball up in the fetal positon but with no success go thrown from where was on the floot and into bars on the far side of the holding pin. Totz was in some serious pain and it seemed to him that Shanti kicked him like a can into the bars which bent on impact. Shanti grabbed Totz' head a began to slam it into the floor and with several loud crunches which was finished by a loud snapping sound. Except there was something wrong. During the head bashing Totz had managed to grab Shanti's left wrist and succeeded in breaking it. Shanti screamed, " YOU SONUVABITCH I'LL SHOW YOU!" But before Shanti or Totz could finish their fight the guard that had fallen asleep was awake and had his gun pointed at both of them. The Guard said, "Stow it for Friday Fight Day you assholes or else I might have to waste a bullet or twenty on ya'll."

Shanti and Totz started laughing they were both in pain and had some form or another of serious injury. Shanti looked like he was nibbled on by Mike Tyson, his left wrist was severly spranged and he had a disjointed jaw that he had reset by himself. Totz on the otherhand had a torn bloody scalp, missing teeth, bruised ribs, broken nose, and various abrasion from landing into the side of the steel cage. They were both champions of stupidity. Ok on the otherhand was knocked the fuck out and had a two broken ribs from Shanti's kick-o-death.

Waine heard gunfire off in the distance. It souned like it was coming from the north from where he was standing. He stopped walking and stood still for a moment to see if any of the other slavers and cityguardsmen were moving towards the noise. He saw a total of twelve slavers armed with rifles move away from their posts to the noise. Waine said, "Must be a riot or perhaps a slave revolt. I guess it's time to work my magic." He pulled his 14mm pistol from it's holster on the inside of his leather duster and proceeded to follow the slavers. After following at a distance he began to slow his run into a slow jog and then he stopped just shy of where the commotion was coming from. He observed Slavers attacking the poor and homeless. He squinted to see if he couldn't spot a leader and after a few moments he spied a man wearing Dark Brown Leather armor. He was dragging an unconcious man by the back of his shirt. He seemed to be shouting orders and with a disfigured bloody right hand was pointing to where his men needed to go. Waine stood there for a moment, collected himself, and then turned the corner with his 14mm pistol a blazing the first shot caught a slaver in the left knee which in turn sent him falling to the ground screaming. He fired another shot this time hitting another slaver in the side of the left side of his temple blood, brains and scalp flew out the other side and the slaver hit the ground dead. One of the slavers noticed the recent entry into the riot. He leveled his rifle and took careful as to aim for the mysterious gunslingers head but before he could get a shot off, the slaver was hit in the back with a ripper.

Gavin had dug the shredding blades of Ripper into one of the slavers backs. He had with one mighty swing nearly tore the slaver spine and internal organs into brutally sliced christmas turkey. He pulled the ripper out of the slavers back and proceeded to stab the ripper into another mans stomach although he wasn't a slaver he was still there in the middle of the riot and therefore another target of his twisted since of justice. Gavin had just killed another man and this time he was going for the man with the deformed hand and upon making to him Gavin was shot once in the stomach the hit was clean shot through he look down to see that the exit wound was through his stomach. Blood and guts were seeping out of the newly made hole. Gavin turned around as if he was not fazed to see who had done this to him he saw that one of the slavers had shot him with one of those damned .223 hunting rifles. Gavin stumbled over to the slaver and and proceed to hit the slaver in the head with the ripper. The slaver went down in a scream of pain as the blades of the ripper rended the slavers face from his skull. Gavin started laughing maniacally as he kept hitting the slaver in the head with ripper until it shattered the dead man's skull leaving the brains exposed.

After making another kill Gavin went back to searching for the man with the messed up hand and again he found him. Gavin said, "Today Charles you will die for kicking me out of the Slavers! I have judged you to death and I will be you executioner!" Charles looked up and with one swift motion pulled the revolver out of it's holster with his left hand and opened fire into Gavin. Three bullets ripped through Gavin each entry hole was quarter sized and each exit wound was about the size of a grown mans fist. Gavin managed to make it all the way to Charles in that time but the last bullet had killed him dead standing. He did not falter in his steps but nonetheless he was now 234lbs of now dead flesh. And the last words that Gavin heard were from Charles, "Sorry but no today is the day you die. You stupid psycho fuck! I would have killed you sooner but the boss wouldn't let me. Anyways I'll be sure to take a shit on your grave you fucking moron!"

Waine saw some man take four shot from some hardcore fire power from a .223 rifle and a .44 magnum pistol. He respected him for who he was fighting but he didn't quite understand why hell he would charge a man as dangerous as a slave leader. Waine had missed the last three times on trying to hit a slaver that was beating a women but was too late as she had died from blunt force trauma to the head. He was now standing behind a pillar while reloading his 14mm pistol but as qued by murphy's law a slaver tackled Waine to the ground causing him to drop the gun and the ammo. The slaver was on top on Waine with a baton and looked very intent on sending Waine to the morgue. Waine managed to pull out the 10mm pistol and fire three shots quickly into the slaver. Almost each shot had some how missed the slavers head except for the last shot which nailed him right underneath the jaw. The top of the slavers head exploded and there was a gusher of blood the poured down onto Waine like a fountain. He collected himself for a moment and picked up and reloaded the 14mm with what bullets he found laying on the ground.

After tucking the 10mm pistol into his holster he then went straight for the leader of the mob with his 14mm pistol. Charles looked up and leveled his revolver off at Waine. Waine flinched as the slaver fired and caught Waine in the left shoulder there would have been more shots to come had Charles not wasted bullets on Gavin. Instead there was CLICK! CLICK! and Charled looked suprised and said, "Todays your lucky day you fucking swell guy! I'll kill you later when I have more bullets. And believe you me that's a promise you stupid fuck!" Waine pointed the gun at Charles and fired twice. The first shot hit Charles in his already deformed hand and the second shot missed. Charles yelled, "YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER! I TRY TO CUT YOU SOME SLACK AND THIS IS THANKS IT GET! YOU ARE DEAD MEAT ASSHOLE!" Waine then pulled the the other 10mm out the holster and began to fire shots at Charles. He fired five shots and only one caught Charles in the ass to which Charles replied,"MAN YOU MUST BE REALLY TRYING TO GET TO THE TOP OF MY SHIT LIST!" Waine tried to fire a sixth time but the 10mm pistol had run dry. He pulled his knife out of it's sheath got to his feet and charged Charles with all the strenght he had left. His first lunge missed as Charles stumbled out of the way. Charles pistol whipped waine in the back off the head and with one good swing managed to send Waine to the ground. Waine got back up on his feet and swung and thrusted at Charles and missed on the swing but nailed him clean in the stomach. Charles yelled, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! YOU FUCKING KNIFE WHORE!" The knife stuck in Charles and Waine was trying to pull it out. Charles pistol whipped Waine again this time breaking Waines nose to left and sideways and also he knocked him unconscious.

That was the end of the session that day. Sorry to leave you guys hanging part 4 will be up next week.
Last edited by Janus Matchell on Mon Sep 06, 2004 7:31 am, edited 5 times in total.
Ignore my warnings and pay no heed then your live will be ended shortly indeed!
Janus Matchell
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Ok OK

Post by Janus Matchell »

The reason this part is longer than the others is because I added part three and half of part four together because they were more coherent that way. Enjoy because I find it be alot of fun when it comes to retelling the story of my exgaming group. As it is funny to everyone else but them.
Ignore my warnings and pay no heed then your live will be ended shortly indeed!
Guest

Post by Guest »

I like it, keep writin' it up. BTW, how many parts will there be.
Janus Matchell
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heres the dealio

Post by Janus Matchell »

It will consist of 3 more parts total and then I will move on to other adventures that group had in other scenarios. So far I am almost done with part 4 and will have it posted when I return from Tulsa,OK. So far so good hey I want to hear what you other people have to say about the Chronicles of Stupid. So post why don't ya!
Ignore my warnings and pay no heed then your live will be ended shortly indeed!
Janus Matchell
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I'm Back in Black!

Post by Janus Matchell »

Alright just a reminder I am back and I should have CoS:part 4 up by friday. Anyways have fun till then.

EDIT: By Saturday!
Last edited by Janus Matchell on Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Blargh »

Image

To quote Mad Zealot Lambuel -

' WOO YAY ! ' :drunk:
Janus Matchell
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Chronicles of Stupid: Part 4 A.

Post by Janus Matchell »

Note this is a continuation of Part 3 in the Chronicles of Stupid.
Characters depicted here are all male.
Old Characters:Alvin(betrayed tribal), Totz(scout), Ok(stupid tribal), Shanti (pitfighting sellout asshole traitor), and Waine(Slaver Hating -Wandering Gunslinger)
Warning there may be harsh language.

Welcome back my friends to this shit that never ends. Ok was waking up and his head felt like jello last thing he remembered was punching that newcomer in the jaw. Now that he was in the process of standing up. As conciousness moved back into control pain ran back into ribs. He screamed, "UHHHH!!!" Totz and Shanti were trying to plan an escape but interrupted by the sudden blurting of painfyl stupidity. The guard yelled, " Ahh shut the fuck up or I'll bust a cap in your face!" Ok fighting back the pain stopped screaming the idea of death for some reason was vaguely unappealing.

In another place, Waine and Alvin were coming back into reality. They were chained to a bar hanging horizontally above their heads. Waine said, "Well this sure beats execution." But before Waine could savor the moment the familiar voice of Charles interjected, "Well well you son of bitch. You went down like a sack of shit. Don't worry I ain't gonna kill you yet. First my boss needs to talk to you and second then you'll die like the bitch you are swell guy." Charles made his way to a set of double doors and opened them. In walked four heavily armed guards in metal armor behind them was a balding middled aged man wearing a worn but fairly neat dark green suit. He moved past his guards and stepped to where Waine and Alvin could see him. The man spoke, "Allow me to in troduce myself. My name Lawrence. You've caused a great deal of trouble to my town and have damaged my business relationships with my people manly the ones you killed. Now because you have done this there are certain legal repercussions that you, I and your tribal friend must deal with right now. I'll give you both two choices and only two. Ok? If you get smart with me right now you die. So please stay on topic or my associate Charles will put a bullet in your head. Here are your choices: A. You can die here or B. You can fight Friday in the Death Pit. So which will it be?"
Alvin said, "Me ams choose B me not want to die. Death Bad." Waine on the other hand said, "Neither I choose C. I break your fucking neck Lawrence!" Waine then used his weight to gain enough leverage for a leg lock around Lawrences neck. Lawrence choked, "chulck!" Charles whipped out his Magnum and fired but instead of catching Waine in the head he caught his boss in the back of his skull where the remaining patch of balding gray hair. Blood, Brains, Scalp and Skull went everywhere and Waine got hit in the inner thigh where his femoral artery ran.

Alvin was startled by the recent turn of events he was chained to bar and being offered cake or death. Of course he choose cake but it didn't matter because the asshole right next to him just fucked them both by doing trying to strangle Lawrence. Alvin then started trying to break his handcuffs but to no avail. Instead he was getting some nifty cuts from the cuffs digging into his wrist.

Waine just got hit in leg and from the pain his leg felt broken. He no longer had ahold of Lawrence's head as it was curently a mix of brain confetti with skull chips. The Slavers and Charles opened fire into Waine taking careful not to hit into Alvin. Waine hardly felt
the following shots all he felt was stings but in all reality buckshot, and magnum rounds were turning him into hamburger. The last thing Waine felt was the excruciating pain of his left arm getting ripped off by the barrage of gun fire.

The Slavers fired until their guns ran dry. Alvin knew as well as the slavers that their boss was dead and now they would be fucked. Charles yelled, "That mother fucking asshole! If that fucker were alive I would fucking kill him again!." The rest of the Slavers just stood there in silence while they reloaded their weapons. Alvin just tried to hang there inconspicuously. However to that idea failed Charles finally go ahold of himself and said, "Tribal you are the next on my shit list for what you did to my hand. Anyways we'll feed to our pet before we waste a godamned bullet on your ass."

Ok, Shanti and Totz heard the gunfire coming from the back of the ware house. The guard took off running towards the commotion (Woo Woo! Here comes the clue train last chance to escape.) They just stood there wandering what was going in the back instead of escaping from certain death.

Alvin was left alone in that room alone chained to that bar. The slavers never took enough care to clean up the mess that is Waine from then walls, floor, ceiling or Alvin. Instead they closed the doors locked them and left Alvin like a pig in a pen to wallow against his own will in human filth. After a few moments of looking around Alvin realized that he could slide himself off of the pipe if he could just use his body weight to scoot himself to the edge of the pipe. The only problem stopping him was that he botched his perception test and the player playing Alvin was an idiot.
So he idly hung there until he finally passed his perception check. About two minutes later he was on the ground and off of the bar but in the process he still fell with his arms stuck behind them. He rolled on the floor until he got Lawrence's body and he proceeded to search the corpses pocket for anything of use. He found some caps, a few cigars, jimmy hats, and set of keys. Alvin tried each key on his handcuffs for the better part of THREE HOURS until he got hid cuffs unlocked. He then stood up and checked Lawrence's body more thoroughly until he came across a 4 shot .32ACP Deringer that was in an ankle holster on his left leg. He then checked Waine's body and found a straignt razor in Waine's right boot. It was already out and straightened to slit some through in a secret compartment in the bottom of the boot. Now that he found weapons again he would be out of that room soon enough.

Ok, Shanti, and Totz huddled in the corner of the cage trying to hatch a plan that would most doubtedly fail. Shanti said, "I have fought in the Death Matches before they usually have four shitty spears in each corner of the pit. Which means if we get them then we stand a greater chance of getting past Lawrence's godamned pet Death Claw. In fact if we can some how get it to attack the guards that would be great." Ok and Totz looked at Shanti with glazed over looks in their eyes and said nothing. Shanti said, " Sweet deal! so that's the plan which shouldn't fail but then again everything has to go right which means you dumb tribal fucks better not screw this up."

Alvin found the appropiate key need to open the room that he had been in for the past god knows how many hours. He steathily cracked the door open to see if there were any guards posted at the door. He saw no one standing guard and decided to open the door completely. he stepped into the dark hallway and advance silently making sure not to get the slavers attention to his location. He moved up the hallway then made a right at the T-junction at the end of the hall. There were a few doors to his left and one door to his right labeled "SUPPLY CLOSET." Not knowing how to read Alvin just moved on and peered throught the windows to the rooms on his left to see if there were slavers in there but instead there were alot of crates and boxes with funny lines that would roughly translate out to "CAUTION FLAMMABLE!" or "THIS SIDE UP." Either way Alvin was a stupid dumb fuck with barely intelligible speech and sluggish learning abilities so even if he could read he still wouldn't be able to understand it. Click the door to his right opened and out stepped a man wearing Leather Pants carrying a spiked baseball bat. Before that man could react Alvin lunged and slit his throat from east to west. The slaver fell to the ground gurgling and he was soon dead from shock and blood loss. Alvin kept on moving and left the body there to be discovered by passers by. After moving throughout the maze of hallways Alvin ended up in a large spacious area that happened to house several dozen cages containing hundreds of slaves. In the center of the room was a massize square cage that looked like the death pits that Lawrence had mentioned before that incident in the interrogation room.

This where that day ended because the space was needed for an event at our local gaming store. Part 4 B. will be out by Sunday hopefully.
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